Classification: TRHA

Rating: PG

Summary: This day has got to end sometime! I got this inspiration from Martha and Gizzie's "A Beach in Winter," even though this is a different beach, different winter, and totally different take. The piece is so damn atmospheric. It's one of my all-time favorites. So Martha and Gizzie, I salute you.

Oh, and we haven't given up on Byers yet. The misery continues.

Spoilers: Unusual Suspects.

Disclaimer: Oh, give it up already, they're ours! Property of 1013 Productions and Fox Television.
 

"There, as the whirlpool drank the tide, a billow
tossed me, and I sprang for the great fig tree,
catching on like a bat under a bough."

Homer, "The Odyssey," Fitzgerald Translation, Book 12, Lines 551-553. Used without permission.
 

Aequam Memento Rebus In Arduis Servare Mentem (to which I say: a lot easier said than done for those of us who are weaklings).
 

January 31, 2000
 

He looked at me as if I'd lost my mind. Maybe I had.

"You're serious."

"Yes. I am."

"It's gonna be fucking cold out there."

"I'm learning to dress for the weather here. I wore jeans today."

"So you did. You usually don't. I'm not complaining, mind you."

"So whaddya say, babe?"

He was quiet for a moment, chewing on an already well-bitten nail.

"Better take a pill this time. You don't wanna puke in the car."
 

We were quiet on the drive. I occasionally lit a cigarette, and one time, Langly asked me to give him one, which I did, after I'd lit it for him. It takes a certain amount of practice to light up and drive at the same time, and he hadn't had it.

The sky, which had been a hard, deep blue when we left DC, had turned grey and ominous, full of billowing clouds, as we neared the intracoastal highway. Highway would actually be a misnomer in this case; it was two lanes most of the way, and the potholes were more like sinkholes.

Whatever else you can say about Langly, he does have a marvelous sense of direction. He knew exactly where his spot-now our spot-was.

It was strange to be in the same spot where we'd first made love six months (a hundred years?) ago. The wind buffeted us, slapping both of our ponytails around and forcing me to hide my face in Langly's jacket. He wrapped two long arms around me and pulled me in close.

"I used to come here in winter all the time after I got my license," he said quietly. "Just to think. Sort things out."

"I think that's why we're here," I responded gently.

"It's quiet here. No noise in your head. Just the waves and the wind." He took my mittened hand and we began to walk towards the waterline.

"I feel really bad about this, Langly, but I just-I couldn't go home and deal with kids right now. I just couldn't. I know they need us-"

"Ally, where's it written that the parents have to do everything? I mean, we eat, sleep and breathe those kids. We get 'em to school, help 'em with their homework, take care of 'em when they're sick, listen to 'em rant, schlepp 'em around-" I was amused at his use of the Yiddish verb-"we do it. We do it all."

"It's in the job description, babe."

"I know. But shit. We're almost never away from 'em. I love 'em, Ally, but right now-"

I laughed. I think he was about to say the same things I said.

"I love 'em a lot, Ally. Just not every minute. And not right now. I can't deal with the teenage shit right now."

"Langly. I don't love 'em every moment, either. And I need a break from them, too. I just told you that." I giggled. "And one of them technically isn't even ours."

"Hey, Commonwealth of Virginia says for now, we're responsible for her. So far's I'm concerned, she's ours."

"Well, she feels like ours. I'm not looking forward to her mother's trial. She'll have to be a witness, you know. She was there."

"Yeah, but at least since she's a witness, she can't be there for any other parts, which is good. It's gonna be ugly. No kid should have to hear that shit."

We walked along the edge of the waterline, trying to stay close but not get our feet wet-it was cold enough that frostbite could possibly happen, not to mention extreme discomfort.

"We gotta do something about Michael," Langly spoke up.

"Yeah, I know. It's getting too hard with the girls in one room. They're squabbling more than I like."

"Not to mention that the house is getting too fucking crowded. And the little bastard gets on my nerves."

"He does some good things for us, babe," I reminded him.

"Yeah, he does. But he also lives rent-free, and eats up our groceries, and drinks our beer, and he's in my face all the time!" I could tell which aspect annoyed him the most.

"Maybe we ought to talk to Frohike. I mean, Michael is nowhere near ready to support himself. But we can't keep doing it. He can be a real sweetie, but sometimes he's so surly and obnoxious I want to throttle him!"

"I'll hold him down," Langly offered.

"No, we're not going to do that. We're going to talk to Frohike when things calm down, and we'll come to some sort of resolution."

"When things calm down. Right." Langly looked skeptical, wry. "Do they ever calm down, Ally?"

"There are days." And there were. There were actually stretches in our life where things were in the groove. You don't read about them here for precisely that reason. "We have a lot of good days, babe."

"Doesn't feel like it sometimes."

"No, but I try and hold on to them. Funny thing is, Langly, I feel like the luckiest human ever born sometimes. Is that weird or what?"

He gave a wry grin. "Maybe just confirms that you're totally twisted." I passed him a look. "I'm not complaining, mind you. About you being totally twisted. How else would you have ever put up with someone like me?"

"Oh, get off it, Langly. You're a dear man with the best heart in the world. Sometimes the nastiest mouth, but always the kindest and gentlest heart. And you're a tough cookie, babe. There's a lot of strength in you."

"Oh, yeah. Right." He glanced across the pewter-colored water that churned in the sharp wind. "Tell the truth, Ally, I don't feel too tough right now."

"Yeah, well, neither do I. I think jello would describe it nicely."

"Who'd know. I don't know what you think most of the time, Ally."

"That's because we never get to be alone. I'm not into public exposure."

"We're alone now."

"Yeah. We are."

"So what's on your mind?"

"What's on my mind? Where do you want me to start?"

"Anywhere. Beginning, middle, end. Whatever."

"I'm really scared we'll lose John," I said softly. As I said it, I felt the tears rush to my eyes. There. I'd said it. Now I had to deal with it, and I wasn't happy about it.

"Me, too." He coughed. "I mean-shit, Ally. All the people I love. It feels like somebody's trying to take them all away from me. Just like before." He turned his head away, and I could hear his voice crack. "Joanie got taken from me. My dad got taken from me. I almost lost Frohike. I could've lost you." He coughed again, fighting for control.

I opened my mouth, but he continued.

"And I'm pissed off. I mean, I wanted the kid, Ally. I really did. But wishing it would happen...I almost got you killed off in the process."

"Langly, that makes no sense. We made a mutual decision not to use any birth control. And I would have wanted that child every bit as much as you did. And it hurts, babe. It hurts a lot!" I was really starting to cry now. "I would have accepted it had it never happened, like you said. But now the door's closed forever. And it can't be reopened. And yeah, it bugs me. A lot." I choked back on my tears. "There's a lot of good things about middle age, Langly, which, by the way, is where I am, in  arnest. But the losses start to pile up. And that's hard for me. I know they're necessary. But I still hate losing." Losing Eric. Losing three of my cats. Losing my dad. And so many near-misses, it was getting hard to count.

"But then," I continued, quieting down, "I count the losses against the gains, and I'm still ahead."

"I can't lose Byers, Ally. I can't. He's been one of the best people in the world to me, even when I've treated him like shit."

"Langly, Frohike is working on putting together a wedding for us. And Byers is part of that wedding. I think maybe we need to borrow a little bit of that faith from him. He's working on it now. John may be incredibly ill, but Frohike must believe in his heart of hearts that he'll be well."

"Frohike's doing wedding plans? While Byers is laying there a lot closer to dying than living?"

"Why do you think he wanted the laptops, babe?"

"I dunno. Figured he still had hopes of getting a February issue out." He shrugged.

"He's looking for a place to hold everyone."

"At nearly 500 people, that's gonna be an interesting challenge."

"Uh, babe? It's closer to 600 people now."

"God, what'd Frohike do, take out an ad?"

"No, we just seem to have met a lot of people along the way."

He stared out at the water. The air smelled like snow. God, who'd have ever thought I'd know what impending snow smelled like?

"I was gonna ask Skulk to be in the wedding party."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well, it's pissing me off that I can't figure out what the hell happened to him." He rubbed a mittened fist under his nose. I could easily get both my hands inside one of his ski mittens. "And I'm not gonna lose anyone else who's supposed to be there. I'll tell ya, anything happens to Byers..." he coughed again. I winced.

"There won't be anybody in his spot. I mean it."
 

We stood huddled together for a long time, saying nothing. I was beginning to shiver; the temperature was dropping, the wind, already harsh, had picked up, and the sky was darkening.

"We should probably go," I said quietly, standing on tiptoes to kiss him.

"Yeah. We need to call and see how Byers is."

"My phone's in the car. I think we're out of range here, but we get back into it about five miles from here."

We turned our backs on the waves, which were growing in size and slamming into the shore with a force decidedly unsubtle.

The car was chilly; we kicked on the heater as soon as Langly hit the ignition.

"I'm glad we came, babe," I said gently.

"Yeah. I don't know about you, but I need something to get warm. When do we have to get home?"

"Mrs. Scully said she'd stay as long as we needed her to. And she had all-day plans with the girls."

"You've been to Benny's, haven't you?"

"You mean, the biker bar? Yeah, with Mulder, when we had to get Dana's car."

"I could use a beer."

"Well, babe, you know me, I can always use a beer." I smiled.

I was rewarded with the first real smile I'd received from him all day. It was bliss.
 

We flipped on the cell and waited for reception to return. I dialed the number of the nurses's station and got Martha. The bad news was, he was still unconscious-for the most part. The good news was that he'd had a few waking moments. And the fever had dropped below 104 for the first time. I cheered, and asked her to have the waiting room rats call me.

Within a few minutes, I had Frohike bending my ear. He, too, had heard the news and he was a lot more cheerful, but with a cautious bent.

"He's not out of the woods yet. Far from it. But this is definitely positive," he stated.

"How's Kat?"

"Katherine? She's holding up. I told her to leave for a while. I had the keys to Byers's apartment. She's staying there. I think she could use some sleep. I'll call her later.

"And you?"

"I may actually leave for a while myself and catch some z's. I'm quite exhausted, and Michael has volunteered to stay here tonight." I refrained from comment, but I was surprised. Langly, who could overhear our conversation, registered an equal amount of shock. "Oh, and by the way, you're getting married May 15. I found the place."

"That's May 15?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Where?"

"At the Baltimore Convention Center."

"The what?"

"The Baltimore Convention Center. It's hard to find a place large enough to hold 610 people." He sounded a little defensive.

"The temple's in Anniston. Did you talk to Dave?"

"E-mailed him. Even rabbis have e-mail, my dear. And I already checked him out. He can officiate in Maryland."

"So it looks like we'll have to do the wedding at the Convention Center."

"Looks that way. Dave's temple only holds 400, anyway."

"No wonder he charges so much on High Holy Days. You said the current body count is 610?"

"That's the figure at present, my dear."

"Do me a favor, Frohike. Don't add any more bodies. Please. I get weird in front of crowds." Not that it was going to make much difference at this point.

"Wasn't planning on it. Now, I need to find a caterer who'll do a party that size, so if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to work."

"Thanks, Frohike."

"Of course, my dear." We cut it there. I looked at Langly. "You heard the good news, I presume, you snoop."

"Hey, it's a small car, and it's not like you guys were being real quiet or anything."

"Byers is improving. Not drastically, but improving. He's actually had a few waking moments."

"Cool. And?"

"Fever's down below 104."

"And?"

"May 15th's the day, guy."

"Okay. I can do that. Where's it gonna be?"

"The Baltimore Convention Center." Langly stared at me in disbelief.

"You're shitting me, right?"

"Hey, Frohike had a hard time finding a big enough place."

"Oh, God, we should've just done it in Vegas."

"Too late for that now. The Rubicon has been crossed." He looked dismayed. "Is there a problem here?"

All of a sudden, he burst out laughing. "Ally...when we get to Benny's, I'm gonna tell you a story."
 

"So that's where John met her." We were well into our second beers.

"Yeah. It was so damn weird...and you know that's where we met Mulder."

"I knew that, but I wasn't sure about Susanne. You think he's gonna deal okay with this?"

"He hasn't got much of a choice, does he? It's not like we can fit that many people in our living room. Besides, give him a new set of memories. Good ones." He took another pull on his Bud longneck-not my choice of brews, but this was a biker bar.

"What do you think'll happen with him and Juliet?"

"I still think we oughta call her."

"I do, too. She's probably wondering what's up. I think they communicate at least once a day."

"Don't know. But she is the girlfriend. I say we call her."

"I say, let's wait a day or two. I mean, I'll celebrate any victory we can get. But he's got a long way to go. And I'd rather wait and see what the verdict on contagion is."

"All right. But Monday at the latest."

"Tuesday."

"You're so difficult, you know that, Ally?" But he grinned. "Okay, Tuesday. Regardless of what Frohike says."

"Isn't that Benny?" I pointed to a large, ponytailed man.

"Yeah, that's him, all right. Hey! You!" Langly called over to him. Benny looked up from picking up beer bottles with a start.

"Langly, you asshole! Where the hell have you been?" He came over and the two shook hands. He looked me over. "Wait, I remember you. You came in here with Mulder."

"Just don't tell anyone," I laughed.

"Oh, I see you've learned that. When you see that fuckrag, tell him he owes me 50 for the SuperBowl!"

"Tell you what. We'll tell him 100, we'll give you the 50, and keep the rest for ourselves," Langly decided.

"You can tell that fuckrag a thousand for all I care. I'm sorry, little lady. I forget your name."

"Benny, this is my fiancee, Ally. Ally, you obviously have the bad luck to know Benny."

"Fiancee? Oh, God. Talk about bad luck. Little lady, you have my sympathy."

"I'm getting worried. Everyone says that to me."

"That's 'cause we know." He wrapped his arm, which was larger than my thigh, around my back. "Congratulations and good luck, little lady. You're gonna need it with this loser. And you!" He shot a look at Langly. "Who'd you bribe to get her?"

"I didn't have to bribe anyone. She simply found my manly charms irresistable."

I had a mouthful of beer, and I began to laugh as he said that, and the beer came running out through my noise, which Benny and Langly felt was utterly hilarious. I'm glad I could provide two overage boys with so much amusement.

"You got a pretty light crowd tonight, Benny," Langly observed. Only three tables were occupied, two regulars were at the bar, and we were one of the tables.

"Gonna snow like a sonofabitch tonight," he growled. "I hate it. Bad for business."

"Wasn't snowing when we came in," Langly told him.

"Just wait. My mama says it's coming. And she's never wrong about that stuff. Well, almost never."

"Is your mother a fortune teller?" I asked.

"Sorta. She's an astrologer. Runs a bed and breakfast about five miles up. Yuppie type place, fancy beer, fancy food. But when I come round, she can still cook up grits and sausage gravy. But we all gotta make a living. You oughta get her to do a reading for you." He grinned. "And she's got an even bigger Hog than I do."

"Your mom's got a Harley?" Langly asked, disbelieving.

"Hey, she wouldn't be caught driving no Japanese piece of shit." I don't think that's what Langly meant, but we let the answer stand.

"Your mother sounds very cool," I said, smiling.

"My mama, she's been through a lot, but always lands up on her feet. She's been mighty good to me and Jackie and the kids. Even when she didn't have enough for herself, always had something for us."

"Hey, any woman that rides a Harley is someone you gotta reckon with, in my book," Langly assessed admiringly.

"Yeah, and get this. She's 73. Still getting up and doing it every day. Says no way she's gonna retire. Far as she's concerned, you retire, you die." He got up. "You folks is looking way too skinny. Let me cook up something for you, and then we'll all sit down and catch up."

"Could I see a menu?" I inquired politely.

"Little lady, you don't need no menu." He vanished with remarkable swiftness for a person of his size.

"What's he going to make?" I asked Langly when Benny was behind the kitchen door.

"Something from cholesterol heaven. Benny doesn't think it's food unless you can feel your arteries clog while you eat it."

"Well, I remember having a killer good breakfast here."

"Mulder stick you with the check?"

"He did not."

"That's a first."

"You know, you're lucky you have Mulder. Where else could you find such a wealth of material in one man to pick on?"

"Hey, why do you think we keep him around? He's about the only person we know whose ideas are weirder than ours."

END OF PART 58