Rating: PG

Summary: The semester's about to end...what will happen? And Happy Hanukkah everybody!

Spoilers: Nah. Only Ally's doing black and sexy tonight, and I don't think she's doing any funky poaching.
 

MICHAEL:

December 7, 2000

Astronomy final. You're allowed to use calculators, so it's cake.

Well, it would be cake if I could think. My brain is so fogged all day that I can barely even read the questions in front of me. I studied the material, but it's buried back in my brain under the layers of crud that seem to be filling up my lungs again.

I noticed today I couldn't breathe again. But it's my last final, and we've had lots of last minute panic attacks at tutoring. So I made it.

All I need to do is get through this final.

And invite Kelly to come with me tomorrow night.

Tomorrow night's last night of Hanukkah, which at Chateau Langly means party time. First night and second night were party time, too, but I was too tired to go. I just told my dad I should rest up for finals and he didn't give me any shit about how I was doing. Guess he figured if I was gonna be a good boy on my own, he didn't have to get on my case.

I want this to be different.

Last year when we were at a Hanukkah party at Chateau Langly was when my dad had a heart attack.

I still get scared thinking about it.

And I want Kelly to come with me. She knows Ally from class, and Byers and Langly fixed her car.

And she's met my dad. Oh yeah.

I think she works on Friday nights, but if she's done with her finals, maybe she can come anyway. I mean, she works for her mom, you'd think her mom would be a little flexible.

Then again, my mom never was.

I'm gonna sleep all day tomorrow and I should be okay.

I finish way before Kelly does, so I wait for her. This gives me time to think about how I'm going to ask her.

Maybe this isn't such a good idea. She'll probably say no, anyway.

But we're off until day after New Years and I don't think I can stand not seeing her that long.
 

I pick through my backpack-there's a pile of papers in there, I haven't cleaned it all semester. Gotta do that so I can crud it up again next semester.

Director at the tutoring center asked me if I'd come back next semester. I told her sure, why not. Nice to have some job security.

I got to work on my TMB stuff, though. I'm like so behind, and I've got a piece I really want to get in the Christmas issue.

Speaking of writing, I never even looked at my final paper from Casey's class. I just grabbed it out of her mailbox and stuffed it in my backpack.

Might as well look at it now.

There's the usual bunch of comments and proofer's marks all over the place. But it's worth 50 points, and my score is 49/50. She cut me down one point because she didn't like the way I set up one paragraph. She thought it belonged somewhere else.

I'm shocked as shit when I read her last comment, though, it's at the end of the paper.

"Michael-you are a talented writer, and I'd like to see you pursue more efforts in this area. I recommend you take some advanced comp and journalism courses, and I'd also like to suggest that since you already work in the tutoring center, if you would consider tutoring this course next semester. I've talked to the powers that be over there and they think it's a good idea.

And thank you for getting me in touch with Allison Langly. She's provided a lot of resources for Luke and me to pursue with regard to Max's condition.

In the meantime, rest up and get well. Anyone who can write like this when they've been as sick as you have is mighty impressive in my book. Happy Holidays, KCS."

Wow. I actually got a compliment from a teacher.

First time for everything, I suppose.

About a thousand years later, Kelly finally comes out. She's been done for ages, but she's Kelly, which means she'll check her answers 5,000 times and obsess over the whole thing.

She looks kind of tired. It's been a long haul.

She stops to ask me how I think I did, I think I did okay (I hope). She thinks the test wasn't too bad, but now she's got one more final, in bio, tomorrow morning at 8 and she needs to get home and bone up for that one one last time.

"And then I'm working split shift," she complains. "Usually I just work at night on Fridays, but I made the mistake of telling my mom I was done at 11 tomorrow and she wants me to work 12 to 8."

12 to 8. She could make it.

It's now or never. She's gotta go home.

I start coughing again, but then I tell her I want to ask her something, and she looks at me kind of curious.

"Uh...there's this Hanukkah party tomorrow night, it's at Ally and Langly's, you know them-"

"Yes, I do. He was the one who fixed my car with the other guy-what's his name?"

"Byers. We call him the prof. He is one, actually."

"A Hanukkah party. I didn't know you were Jewish."

"I'm not. Ally is, though. Some of the other people there are Jewish, but most of 'em aren't. I think it's just an excuse to party for Ally and Langly. They like to do that. And it's usually fun and Ally's a good cook-"

"Well, I have to work till 8, but I could try to get off sooner."

"Doesn't even start till 7:30."

"Can you give me directions? I've only been there once and Allison drove and I have no idea how she got there."

I think she just said yes.

Oh yeah!
 

December 8, 2000

I tell Dad I'm sort of tired from finals and would it be okay if I slept today? I promised I'd get to work on TMB tomorrow.

He says it's a good idea, and leaves me alone.

I am tired.

Problem is, I'm a lot more than tired.

I feel like shit. Again.

And this time it's worse than the last.

But I've got all day to sleep, and if I do that, I should be better by tonight.

I have to be.
 

I set my alarm for 6 p.m. Dad's been at work. He says he'd come get me but I told him I'd take the bus over.

I was an idiot for that one.

The alarm sounds the charge at 6 p.m., and I can't believe it's already that time.

I'm still tired. And my throat hurts so bad I can barely swallow my own spit.

And it might help if I could breathe.

I was supposed to be better tonight if I slept all day.

Fuck!

I get up and pop 4 Tylenols, take a shower, and try to shave. I end up cutting myself four times.

I should just grow a beard and get it over with.

Wonder how Kelly feels about guys with beards.

Maybe I'll grow it over break.

God, do I have any clean clothes? When was the last time I did laundry?

Maybe Dad did some for me. I hope.

I have no decent clothes. I need some new clothes.

I need a car.

I need some new CD's.

I need...Jesus, I'm needy.
 

I'm so beat when I get to Ally and Langly's, and the Tylenols aren't doing as good as they should be, but Kelly says she's coming, and I want to be there.

I think she said she was coming. She did ask for directions.

Ally's in the kitchen, already working on getting wasted when I come in, and putting out tons of food. You'd never starve at Chateau Langly.

And I almost didn't recognize her. She's dressed in a tight black T-shirt with long sleeves and tight black pants and she's got her hair all curly and up in a black velvet ribbon. I've never seen Ally in tight pants. And I'm surprised that she's mildly stacked.

Must be a dry spell with Langly.

She gives me a buddy-hug, and I don't object. She's got some tequila on her breath and she's giggling.

God, I am so glad Kelly doesn't giggle. It'd drive me nuts. I like Ally, but she's such a gigglepuss, and I don't know how Langly puts up with it sometimes.

Then again, she puts up with him, and I think he's got the better deal overall.

I ask her what's in the pots, and she says, soup. I check it out, there's three different kinds. Vegetable, chicken noodle, and potato-corn chowder.

All right. Maybe something I can swallow.

The place is crawling with people. I grab a Sam Adams from the cooler and head into the living room. For some reason, when Ally's cooking, only the women are allowed in the kitchen. I mean, if you're a guy you can come get a beer, but then she kicks you out pretty fast.

I almost bang into Ellen, but she's cool, or wasted, or both. She just says hi and asks me how I am and tells me her kids are looking for me.

Great. This is just what I need. The little Sternberg monsters crawling all over me. Particularly the little one. He's always at 120 miles an hour and he never slows down. He'll find me and he'll want to play...I'm afraid to venture into the room any farther.

I like the kids, I'm just not in the mood.

Too late. Alex has found me and has begun a full frontal assault. He wants to go outside and kick a few soccer balls around. I tell him it's dark, and he's grabbing my arm and trying to pull me along. I have no idea how I'm gonna get away from this kid. He may only be five, but he's hell on wheels, and if you don't do what he wants, he's like got this shriek they'll hear in five counties.

Ellen says his teacher says the kid's got control issues. Ellen just says he's a wildman. I think her description fits better. And Ellen's an Amazon, and she used to be a cop. If she can't control this kid, nobody can.

Fortunately, I get rescued.

Unfortunately, I get rescued by Miranda. She's telling me she needs me to do something for her.

If it's fix her computer, why's she asking me? Her stepdad can do it. But she's begging me to come with her, and denying Princess Miranda her request is a lot like denying Alex Sternberg his, only worse. She says to come down to her room.

Oh, fuck. If she's gonna get me in trouble, I'm gonna kill her.

Her boyfriend Jesse is there at least. Jesse's cool, but I think he's avoiding Langly because Langly is such an asshole to him. I don't know what his problem is. I think the guys need protection from Miranda and not the other way around. Shelby's there, too, minus boyfriend. She was with somebody for a while, don't know what the story is with her right now. She's got her hair different now and it actually looks pretty good.

Miranda runs her hands over my hair. I just washed it, no foreign objects in it, so I don't know what she's looking for. I mean, she's been in my hair before, she used to do my dye jobs when I got dye jobs. And I got to admit, they were damn good dye jobs. I started letting her do it because I got it done free that way, but she did do okay with it.

"Michael, you've got awesome hair," she's telling me.

Oh fuck. What is she doing? Her guy is sitting right there, but he's being cool with stuff. And Jesse's not all that big. And he's only 16.

I could probably take him out if I needed to.

"Problem is, it's gotten pretty shaggy."

This is an understatement. Last time I cut it, was for Ally and Langly's wedding, and it grows pretty fast, and it's not looking all that good come to think of it, but it's not like I have a lot of free time to worry about my hair.

"I could make you look really awesome."

I look at her like I would really trust her with a pair of scissors.

"Really. I just did Shelby's. What do you think?"

"Well, she looks good, but I don't think it's me."

"Jesus, Michael, I wouldn't cut yours the same way! Do I look stupid or something?"

Stupid, no. Or something, yes.

"And I did Jesse, and my mom, and Langly. I made Mom and Langly over for tonight. Whaddya think?"

"Well, your mom looks totally hot."

"She should show off her curves more. She's really got a decent body but she doesn't wear stuff that shows it off right."

"Langly looks like some drug lord, though."

She thinks this is funny. "Works for him, though, doesn't it?" When I saw him, she'd done his hair in a ponytail but worn over the rest of his hair loose, and it looked like she'd curled the ends. She let him keep his regular clothes, but she found this jacket to put over it.

I wonder how much he'd had to drink before he let her do this.

"So whaddya wanna do, Miranda?"

"I'm gonna make you look great."

"You make me look like Langly, I'll kill you."

She's laughing her ass off at this. "You don't even have enough hair. And anyway, that jacket's from the 70s. I found it in his closet. And it's back in style now. Guys never throw anything out."

"We don't have enough to throw out," Jesse says to her.

He doesn't know how true that is.

I'm debating. Miranda does know hair. And her guy is here, and somehow that makes me feel a little better. I'm not sure why. I think it's because if she really gets nuts, he'll scream at her or something.

Then again, it's Miranda, and she probably does all the screaming.

And maybe if she gives me a decent haircut, Kelly will notice.

And Kelly should be here soon. I hope.

"Is this gonna take a long time?" I ask her.

"Nope. I know just what I want to do. Did you just wash your hair?"

"Yeah." I start on a coughing fit again. I really don't want to wash it again.

"You okay?" Jesse asks.

"I'm fine."

"It's okay, I'll just spray it damp."

I am out of my fucking mind.
 

I'm so tired that I almost fall asleep with her cutting my hair. She better not be doing anything weird, or I will hunt her down and kill her, and her mom can deal with it.

She finally says I'm done. I haven't looked in the mirror or anything-Miranda says she's gonna surprise me.

Oh God. Why the fuck did I agree to this?

All I know is, my neck feels naked.

"Okay, you can look now," she hands me her mirror.

I'm not sure I want to.

I finally yield to temptation.

I'm shocked as shit-she actually gave me a good cut. She whacked off like two inches and framed it around my face so my cheeks don't look so round, and it's real sleek, but it's not so short that I'll freeze.

"You look hot," Shelby says.

I actually don't look too bad.

Hope Kelly likes it.

Hope she gets here soon.
 

I'm back upstairs, and I hope Ellen's kids don't see me. They don't, but the Mulderette does, and next to her dad, for some reason, I'm her favorite guy. She always squeals when she sees me and runs over to me and wants me to pick her up and play with her.

I got to admit, the Mulderette is totally cute. She's gonna be a looker when she gets older.

I hope she's been changed recently.

I hope Kelly gets here soon. It's 8:35. She was supposed to get off at 8.

Then again, I tell myself, she's in Warrenton, and it's a drive and it's raining and it's slick out and she's gotta finish work and blah blah blah...

I pick up the Mulderette, who gets heavier all the time, and stronger. She pulls on my glasses and almost bends them in two. I rescue them just in time. She thinks this is a game, and wants to do it again. I finally give up and stuff my glasses in my shirt pocket. I can't afford to replace them right now.

She's annoyed for a second, then decides she wants to get on my shoulders. I do this with her and she really likes it, and I don't mind it usually, but right now, I can barely breathe and my shoulders ache. But she demands up, so I oblige her.

I'm just a soft touch for the ladies.

She demands that I go, meaning I should run around with her. No way can I run around here-hell, you can barely walk with all the bodies, and I'd probably pass out if I did run, but there's a clear space towards the front door and we walk that way.

This kid has really gotten heavy.

At least for the moment she's not offensive.

I hear the gate buzz. I'm the closest one to the door, so I check the monitor.

It's Kelly.

I didn't realize I'd been holding my breath, but it comes out in this long hard steam when I see it's her. I buzz her in.

Now to get the Mulderette back to one of her parents before Kelly gets to the door. This, of course, is going to involve finding them first.

Too late again. She's at the bell, and I answer the door, Mulderette on my shoulders laughing her little buns off and demanding more.

This is so fucking embarrassing.

I just say hi, and say, don't mind the kid, she likes this.

But she just says, "You cut your hair today."

"Actually, I got it cut about twenty minutes ago. Ally's daughter is doing makeovers on people tonight. You oughta see what she did to her mom and Langly. Come on in."

"I like the cut. Makes your face look good."

I have just died and gone to heaven.

Right now, that wouldn't be such a bad thing.

I really feel terrible. My throat is back to killing me. And this hot heavy baby isn't making me feel any better.

"Let's dump this kid on her parents and get out of the doorway."

"So, Michael? I got my calc grade today on the final."

"And how'd you do?"

"Aced it." She grins and gives a thumbs up. "Thanks for the help."

"No problem," but I can barely get the words out.

"Are you okay?" she asks me. "You don't look too good. I mean, you-this is coming out all wrong. You just look like you feel sick again."

"I'm fine. I'll feel better once I get rid of the kid. C'mon."

Lucky for me, the Mulderette sees her dad, and she's like Daddy Daddy Daddy and he grabs her and starts playing with his little darling.

"That's her dad," I tell Kelly.

"That's obvious. He certainly loves her."

"Just a little." She's got to be kidding. Mulder is totally demented for this kid.

And he's got another one cooking.

Mulder will always be a madman, but at least with kids, he's a good kind of crazy.

"Isn't that your dad over there?" Kelly points at him, he's talking to Jo and Langly.

Oh God. And I was hoping to avoid this.

END OF PART 20