Rating: PG

Summary: 'Neuromancer' and 'Mona Lisa Overdrive' are my favorite William Gibson novels, but I'm letting Michael borrow them. Recommended reading, by
the way. We let Michael out for a little Christmas shopping.

Spoilers: None.
 

We get to talk alone for a while. Kelly seems to pull herself together pretty good.

Better than I do, at any rate.

She is so cute, I just want to jump her right here, right now.

That won't do. She's not ready for that.

Maybe I'm not, either.

That never occurred to me before.

Jesus, what is happening here?

Could it be...oh God no...I'm starting to be...an ADULT???

Perish the thought.

In fact, she's kind of down on guys in general, it seems. Right now she's having trouble with her mom's boyfriend. Seems the guy has moved into their trailer, doesn't work, drinks too much, and makes lewd comments at Kelly when her mom's not around. She says it wasn't so bad when she's in school, because she can stay at the library till 11 when it closes and by then usually mom and boyfriend have hit the bars, but it's tough right now.

I ask her why she doesn't tell her mom this.

She says she has, but her mom says she's making too big a deal out of nothing, and that anyway, Kelly never likes her boyfriends.

"Which is true, by the way," Kelly adds. "My mom has the unique ability to pick losers. Which Tracy seems to have inherited. And I'm afraid of. I think that's why I've never really been involved with anybody."

"You've never had anyone?" Soon as I say it, I realize what a jerk I sound like, but she doesn't seem to get upset.

"Not really. I dated this one guy who was two years ahead of me when he was a senior and I was a sophomore, and he was an honor student like me, but he went on full scholarship to Miami University-the one in Ohio, not the one in Florida-and he thought we should call it off because he was going away to school and he was getting out and he didn't want anything to do with his life in Warrenton. I don't think he's ever been back. I've never seen him around since he left. I was hurt when he did that, but now I understand why he did it. I feel the same way. I don't want to have anything to do with that place."

"Was he special?"

"In a way. We were both outsiders. It was nice to have somebody to talk to who could use words that had more than one syllable in them and whose nickname wasn't Bubba or Junior."

I have to laugh. Junior. That's what Langly calls me.

"What's so funny?" she asks me, and she looks a little bit hurt.

"Oh, nothing, really. It's just-hate to tell you this, but Junior, that's what Langly calls me."

She laughs, relaxes a little. "I don't think it's quite the same thing. I think that's his way of showing affection for you."

"That, and busting my chops." We both laugh.

"He's a big tease, isn't he?"

"He's major. But he's okay sometimes. He'll help you out if you need it."

"Well, he and the other guy-Byers, you said his name is?"

"Uh-huh."

"They were really nice to me. Byers didn't look very happy that day, though. I felt bad for him. He was yelling at Langly a lot. He was polite to me, but I'm surprised Langly didn't deck him."

"They've known each other a long time, and I don't think the prof gets real tetchy too often, so we just kind of put up with each other, don't take it too hard most of the time."

And I realize, this is true. There's a certain measure of forgiveness built into the system here which I never knew existed anywhere before.

"That's good. I wish it was that way where I come from."

"Well, it's not like that all over, trust me. I mean, nobody holds a grudgefest like my mom. And she's still holding one, I think. I'd love to know what she and Dad talked about last Sunday. But I'll probably never find out. My dad doesn't say a lot about what's going on with him. He's real private. I really don't know all that much about him."

"He seems very caring. He definitely acts like a parent."

"Sometimes more than I'd like. And sometimes it'd be nice if he'd say what's up with him, just so I'd know."

"Well, at least he doesn't mistake you for his best friend. My mom does that. It's like, she'll have trouble at work or trouble with money or trouble with men and I hear EVERYTHING. I mean, I love my mom. But I want her to be my mom. I don't need her to be my friend, well, I do, just - you know what I mean, don't you?"

"I think so."

"I want her to be a grownup. I feel most of the time like she's the daughter and I'm the mother, and in fact I'm the daughter, and I don't know everything, and I could really use some support from her."

"She's proud of you, isn't she?"

"She is. I mean, she'll brag to people how smart I am and all that. But she really hates the idea that I want to do this with my life. She says it's too long and it's too hard and she can't help me and why don't I do something where I can get done quick and make decent money. Sorry, it's not gonna happen. I'm doing this. I have to do this."

She's got that look of hungry desperation again.

This is not a pipe dream for this girl. It's a plan.

And it dawns on me: if I want to be with her, I'm gonna have to go with the plan.

How long does it take to become an MD? I know it takes a while, but I don't know exactly how long.

I have to see Bergman again next week. I'll ask him. He's cool about questions.
 

I'm getting kind of tired, but I don't want her to leave yet. I don't want her to leave at all, but at some point, she's gonna have to go home.

So we put some more coffee on and turn on the TV and catch "Coneheads" on one of the movie channels. The Coneheads crack me up because they're like so suburban and nobody seems to think it's a big deal they've got pointy heads. I've seen this flick about a dozen times.

Kelly says she's never seen it.

"I don't watch movies much," she says. "I don't have time."

But the Coneheads are a kick and you've got to like them and she's laughing too pretty soon.

I don't see her laugh much, but when she does, it's like water over rocks, and it's fantastic to hear.

I'd rather be sitting with my arm around her, but she's on the floor and I'm stretched out on the sofa.

I really am tired.

I hate to admit this, but I am.

And Dad knows it the moment he walks in the door. He and Jo went out for dinner, and Dad doesn't look quite so down as he did earlier today. He's been down a lot lately.

"How are you, sweetheart?" he asks Kelly.

Oh fuck. I am going to die. I know Kelly hates that kind of shit.

But she's being cool about it, and she just says she's fine, she and I were just talking and watching movies and she knows I'm still tired and she was going to leave soon. I tell her it's about ten minutes to the closing credits, at least finish the movie with me. She says okay.

Jo asks Kelly how things are going, and Kelly tells her that she's interviewing with Dr. Shalad at GWU next week. She looks excited again, and fortunately, Jo's excited for her, too. Well, as excited as Jo ever gets. Jo is real low key. I sometimes suspect her of being my dad in drag, but I'd never say that to her. Jo's real Catholic and I think she'd die.

My dad pours himself two fingers of J&B and offers Jo one, which she accepts, but wants it on the rocks. He doesn't ask Kelly or me if we want any. He knows I hate Scotch. He knows Kelly's underage, which seems to worry him. Kelly looks real young. I think she has trouble sometimes getting people to believe she's 18. 19 soon. Less than a month away.

Fuck. Now I got to think of a Christmas gift and a birthday gift.

Kelly's getting ready to leave, and we all say goodnight, but before she's even out the door, my dad tells me it's time for me to go to bed.

Aarrgh!!!
 

December 22, 2000

Back to Bergman's for the drill. Maybe he'll release me today. I still cough, but not as much.

And I'm not as tired.

I actually wrote an article this week.

I still slept a lot. When I say, not as tired, I mean I'm only sleeping about 12 hours a day instead of 18.

And I haven't Christmas shopped yet. I tell my dad this, and he's not real happy I want to do this, but Ally's off today and she's going out to do hers and that way I can hit Bergman and shopping in one trip. He says as long as we're not gone too long it's okay.

Obviously he's never shopped with Ally. The woman is Ninja shopper. She has a list, pays cash, and can get out of a mall faster than a speeding locomotive. Couple of times I've gone with her, I'm still thinking about what to get, and she's like, are you done yet?

Dad says you have to wonder about a woman who hates to shop.

Still, she always manages to come up with pretty good gifts.

Having money helps.

This is another problem. I lost some work time in there, and it hurts right now. I've been putting a lot of it away for a car, but I've got a long way to go. I think right now I could get a gas tank and some upholstery for what I've got saved up.

To say Christmas will be a modest affair would be an understatement.

But I am gonna get something for Dad, and I want to get Kelly something she'll really like.

I have no idea what to get her.

I've been beating my brains out over it all week, and I've come up with exactly what I started with, which is zip.

Maybe I'll get inspired at the mall.

That would be a first.
 

I've got to go to Bergman's first, so I drop Ally off, tell her I'll meet up with her in three hours. She says that gives her plenty of time.

I'm not sure about myself.

Once again, it's SRO in Bergman's waiting area. And no new Cosmos.

Damn.

But at least this time, there's a Scientific American lying around, and I latch on to that before anybody else can. It's old, but so what. And it's got an article on hacking in it.

I read it and I'm giggling. This is child's play, what they're talking about in here. And no self-respecting hacker would do this stuff once he got a little experience.

No, the stuff real hackers do, we don't print in mainstream publications.

Why share your trade secrets?

Yeah, there's Black Hat, where supposedly hackers and suits get it together and talk about security holes and how to plug them up. But what the suits
don't know is, we just perpetuate certain myths.

Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke. If they're too stupid to figure it out, then it's their own damn fault. And Black Hat's fun. I was kind of bummed we didn't go this year, but nobody did, apparently. Not after what happened last year. It's still not confirmed, but there's an awful lot of suspicion, and it's not nice to fuck with paranoid people's heads. So nobody went to Vegas this year.

Next year, though, it's in Waikiki, and we HAVE to go. No way I'm missing Hawaii. I've never gone, but I am going, no matter what.

I almost want to gag when Ally says they should do it in Maui instead, Maui's nicer.

She would know.

Nice to be able to be picky.

But hey, it's not her fault she got born into the family she did. And from what Langly says, it's not all wonderful for her, either.

Still, her misery is probably a lot more comfortable than most of ours.

I finally get called, and then start the second round of waiting, which is a form of uncomfortable misery I could do without-one paper smock and no heat.

I'm so ready not to have to do this anymore.

Mr. No Stress finally makes it in. I'd like to know how this guy does it.

He says I'm just about clear, no fever, keep up the meds for one more week and I should be fine, I'm supposed to come back next week, and he says that should be it for this.

Jesus. Another visit.

Then he says he talked with Dr. Shalad, who finished interviewing candidates, and it looks like she's gonna take Kelly. She was hoping for someone with a little more experience, but she said that what Kelly didn't have there, she made up for in drive and willingness to learn, and apparently Dr. Shalad is into cutting people a little slack.

"I'm just curious. Why'd you do this for her?" I ask him.

He just shrugs. "Hey, I'm a poor kid from Baltimore. I got where I am because a lot of people cut me a break, and I always said, when I can return the favor, I will. So I could do it. I'd like to think it keeps my karma clean, or whatever you call it."

"How long'd it take you to get here?"

"You mean, get through medical school and become an MD?"

"Yeah."

"Well, let's see. Four years of college, four years of med school, three years of residency-eleven years. Math never was my strong suit." He laughs at himself, which is one of the reasons I can tolerate the guy. "She's a freshman, right?"

"Yeah."

"What's your relationship to this young lady, if I might ask?"

"She's my friend. I tutor her."

"A close friend?"

"I'd say so."

"Well, be prepared. It's a long, strange trip, as the Grateful Dead would have it, and it's long and strange not just for the person training, but everyone around them. I was really fortunate-and still am-to have met the woman I married. She was my best friend, and later on it became something more, and if it wasn't for her patience and strength, I'm not sure I'd have been able to go through with this. I was lucky, too-my family couldn't support me financially, but they were always there for me. You can't do this trip alone. I know I couldn't have."

I finish buttoning my shirt, and he says, "She's lucky to have someone like you. Don't let her down."

I promise to myself I won't.
 

I REALLY hate shopping. I'm lousy at it, and I never have enough money, and I don't know what to buy and the place is packed and I'm getting crushed...

I've had a horrible vision. I'm going to die in a shopping mall during the Christmas rush.

The irony of this is not lost on me.

I have exactly forty minutes before I meet up with Ally, and I don't have any gifts bought yet.

Fuck it. I need to clear my head. I'm gonna go into Borders and pick up a Java Journal.

Maybe some inspiration'll come to me.

So far, the gods of gift-giving have not been friendly to me, so I'm kind of skeptical, but I need to come up with something good, and fast, because when I meet Ally, she'll be totally ready to leave. The mall is not a place where she cuts anyone any slack.

I find the current JJ, and something Kelly says comes back to me. She said one time she would like to be able to go into a bookstore and go nuts on the place.

Okay, I can't give her her fantasy right now, but maybe there's something here she'd like.

What the hell does she like to read? I know she reads textbooks, but I don't know what she likes for fiction. I'm into William Gibson a lot, but for some reason, I don't think 'Neuromancer' or 'Mona Lisa Overdrive' will get her juices flowing. And I bet she doesn't do romance.

I'm contemplating my gift-giving miseries when I get tapped on the shoulder. This freaks me out, being in a crowded place and all, but I turn around and I recognize the face.

It's Casey, my writing instructor. Who did give me an A.

She asks me if I'm better and I tell her yeah, and she tells me she really wants me to tutor Freshman Writing next quarter, would I think about it? I tell her I'm gonna do it. I may have to cut my class load down to three classes in order to do all the tutoring the center wants me to do.

Plus I've got to get back into writing for TMB. I was real rusty when I wrote this week.

I tell her this and she says not to worry, that happens all the time, and I should just keep writing. She asks me if I'm as bad as she is about Christmas shopping at almost the last minute. I tell her yeah, I'm trying to get stuff for my dad and a friend of mine.

"So what're they like? I only met your dad once. He seemed nice. Quiet."

"He is. Well, he-he's kind of an old sentimental type guy in some ways. Likes sappy music and romantic movies and all that kind of stuff. He usually doesn't do it when anybody else is around, but sometimes when I wake up late at night and he's in the living room American Movie Classics is on and he's fallen asleep watching some tearjerker."

"Hmm. Sounds like Luke. Does he have 'Sleepless in Seattle'? That's one of the ones Luke asked for." She's got the video under her arm, in fact.

"No." In fact, about the only things he has on video are, well, THOSE videos. Usually he watches TV for the other stuff, which isn't really a problem when you get over 500 channels of satellite.

But maybe he'd really like that. I mean, he watches this crap all the time late at night.

Casey says she's not really into that genre, but she like SIS, and it's on her recommended list. I ask her what she usually likes.

She grins. "I consider the release of an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie to be a cultural event. That, and anything to do with Star Wars. You?"

"I dunno. Action adventure stuff, I love James Bond movies, especially the old Sean Connery ones. Funny stuff."

"We ought to watch movies together and let your dad and Luke watch movies together. Luke is a really reserved guy, but he loves those three hanky romances."

Hard to believe this about my mellow, mildly sarcastic astronomy professor, but hey, nobody'd probably believe it about Melvin Frohike, either.

"And your friend. What's he or she like?"

Well, nice to know somebody doesn't have preconceived notions.

"She. She's premed. She's taking your class next semester."

"What's her name?"

"Kelly Martin."

"I'll have to remember that. Of course, usually I get my complete roster about week 14 of a 16 week semester." She laughs.

"How's the little guy?" I remember she's been through a lot with her son.

"Max? He's doing well. We have him in an ASL preschool, and he's thriving. I mean, this may not be the way we go ultimately, but for now, Luke and Kira and I are all learning ASL and trying to cope. He's okay, though. Other than the deafness, he didn't seem to suffer any residual complications."

Other than the deafness. Goddamn.

She's been dealt this huge blow, but she's smiling and says her kid is okay and they're dealing with it.

Is this what adults do? How do they do it?

She's talking at me again.

"There's a text that all premeds and med students have, it's Gray's Anatomy. You've heard of it, haven't you?"

"Think so."

"Get her that. I mean, I don't know what your relationship is to her, and spare me the details, I hear enough romances gone off the deep end from students trapped in hormone hell, but I'd suggest that."

Actually, it sounds like a good idea. Better than anything I've come up with so far, anyway.

I head for the reference books, and they've got several editions of it, some are more expensive and elaborate than others.

I don't have a lot of money, but I don't want to scrimp on this. She'll have it for a long time.

And maybe she'll think of me when she uses it.
 

And I meet Ally on time.

Cool.

END OF PART 28