LOYALTY AND SEDITION by tm
Part 50

Rating: PG

Summary: Sleep disorders? Not likely.

Spoilers: None.
 

MICHAEL:

I didn't think I was EVER going to get out of here.

And I'm ready to kill most of the people who go to this school...I was under the impression that college normally required an IQ of at least low triple digits.

What rock did these morons crawl out from under?

Normally, I'm okay with them, but the last one, she was just SO fucking clueless...and I didn't get out of there till almost 9:30.

I've got to get the 'Stang running, I can't deal with this bus business much longer...I'll lose my mind.

I've been feeling like I'm losing it all day. Usually, I get somebody stupid, it's no big thing, I just go through it with them, I don't take it personal.

I'm taking everything personal today.

EVERYTHING.
 

I run up the hill to Chateau Langly...I can actually more or less do this right now and not lose every ounce of breath I have.

Wouldn't matter if I did. I gotta see Kelly.

NOW.

I can't believe how long it takes to punch in the security code to the fence...feels like forever.

Never noticed it before.

I make the trip round to the kitchen door, it's usually not locked. I run through the kitchen, I wave real fast to Ally and Langly, who look like they just got home.

Langly doesn't even give me shit about it.

Maybe he had an even worse day than me.
 

I knock. It's so weird...I mean, this used to be my room for a while...but now it's Kelly's and it'd be real rude just to barge in on her.

I mean, what if she's naked or something?

Hmm...appetizing idea.

She answers the door and just about knocks me over, she gives me such a big hug.

I don't know if this is good news or bad news, but I hope it's good...

I hug her back, and she lifts up her face to see mine, and she smiles.

"So? Good news?" I ask her.

She smiles big and nods. "Nothing there. Thank God. I am so relieved, I can't believe it."

I take her chin in my hand and stroke her face. She closes her eyes, then opens them again and smiles.

"C'mon in. I was just studying for a bio quiz, but I can take a break." She closes the door-Miranda lives right across the hall, and we don't need an audience, thank you very much.

The room looks more like when I lived here-Kelly's not super tidy or anything like that. She leaves books and papers and clothes all around, like I do. She does keep her bed made, though, which is something I almost never do. I mean, what's the point? I'm just gonna get back in it. And while I was sick, I was almost never out of it, except to move to the sofa.

I'm glad that's over with. I'm getting rid of this cold, too. Finally. After three months, I'm finally not sick anymore.

And Kelly's okay. I feel like something really hard and heavy just melted away, and there's a new puff of air there.

"How'd work go?" I ask her.

"Well, I didn't get very much done today...but Dr. Shalad said it was okay, since she did the tests herself. But I've got a lot to do and even more to learn. Did I tell you I learned to do a Northern Blot?"

"What's that?"

"A genetic test. Using specific types of probes. I'm going to learn to do a Southern tomorrow. It's another blot."

"Sounds cool."

"I'm starting to run my own gels, which is really cool."

"Gels."

"Polyacrylamide gels. You know, like Crazy Glue. After you chew up the DNA, you run it on a gel."

"How'd you chew up the DNA?"

"Detergent, believe it or not." She laughs. "Breaks down the proteins."

"You like doing this?"

"Yeah, it's really good. She does infertility treatments...she's working on some experimental treatments, mostly with implantation techniques."

"You don't see any of the people she works with, though."

"No, I don't. I'd like to, eventually...she says she'll let me analyze some of her workups when I know more." She turns to me and shakes her head, but she smiles a little. "There's way much I don't know. I've got a lot to learn."

"You can do this, Kel."

She turns to me, and her face is serious, but gentle. "Thank you. That means a lot to me."

"Well, you can."

"Michael, there's a lot I can't do." She laughs a little, but then she looks sad.

"Like what?" I can't imagine she can't do anything.

"Well...Michael, could you do me a favor?"

"Sure." How hard could this be?

She turns sort of red. Oh God, what does this sweet girl have in mind?

"Can you...you know, just sort of lie down next to me? Not do anything. Just lie down by me."

I'm sort of wondering why that was so hard for her.

"Sure. C'mere."

The light in here is too harsh by a lot.

"Kel, you got any candles?"

She looks at me warily. "Michael...I'm not ready-"

"Kelly, I promise, I'll lie right next to you. I won't even touch you if you don't want me to. But it's way bright in here."

"Okay. But I don't have any."

Bet Ally's got some in the dining room. I'm not sure how I'm going to explain this, but I suppose if I just say I want to borrow some candles, Ally won't get snoopy. She really doesn't pry. It's one of the reasons I like her.

Easier than I thought. Ally and Langly must've gone to bed. They're not out in the living room, which is where they usually hang at night.

And I score a major coup-Ally must have stock in a wax factory. Jesus Christ, she's got more candles stowed in here than a church. They're all different colors and scents and shapes.

I finally settle for this big chunky one that smells like cinnamon, and two smaller ones that look about the color of honeydew melons but don't smell like anything. And Ally's okay-she left matches right on top, which reminds me, I need something to light these suckers with.

I come back down, and Kelly's reading her bio book. I light all three candles and snap off the lights.

She motions me to come over to her. She wants me to take the side of the bed near the wall.

Who am I to complain? As long as she's there.

I'll do whatever she needs. Even if it's nothing at all.

She sits next to me first-she seems kind of uncomfortable about this. I brush my hand over hers.

I don't want her to be uncomfortable.

I just watch her for a while. I love contact lenses-I can lie down and still see.

And in the flame light, she is so beautiful. She looks so soft and so vulnerable, not at all like tough little Kelly.

I like this part of her.

And it takes her a while, but she finally lies down right next to me. I can feel her hip press up against mine.

No question about it. This girl needs to gain some weight. Her bones are sticking out.

But if I say that to her, she's probably gonna take it all wrong. Women seem sort of weird that way...I've seen Langly tell Ally she looks nice a certain way, and she sort of acts like, why, was I ugly another way? Same with Juliet. Byers'll say something he likes to her, and she'll get all weird.

Women. A very strange species.

She seems kind of tense. I take my thumb and run it over her cheek and she likes that; she closes her eyes a little and she seems to get calmer.

God, I'd like to just sweep her in my arms...feel her wrapped around me...feel her skin against mine...

But I promised.

I turn my face towards hers...and I kiss her, very gently. Just once.

I want to kiss her again. And again and again...I just want to get lost inside her mouth, inside her body, inside her heart.

But I promised. And she's still sort of nervous.

She leans her head against my shoulder, and it feels great. I can hear every breath she draws.

She can probably hear my heart. It's loud enough.

And we stay like this. For a long time.

But never long enough.
 

ALLY:

Juliet and Byers made dinner for us. Langly was unenthusiastic about leaving Joan, but when Julie returned, I forced the issue, and I had plenty of support from sister and niece.

I couldn't help but bask in the contrast between the bleakness of the hospital and the warmth and comfort of Juliet and Byers' home. And they are well on their way to making it into a home.

Tivoli helps. She's the most awesome cat. I don't think outward displays of tenderness and affection come easily to either of them, but that small, furry creature with the massive engine seems to unleash it in them. Langly and I couldn't help but crack up each time we'd hear Byers talking to the cat. He would talk to her softly, like a baby, murmuring sweet nothings to the little creature, and the kitten would rub against him, demanding more and more attention.

And watching the two of them lavish attention on her is almost comical-I say almost because it's not just tenderness for the cat being expressed, but between the two of them. The looks that pass between the two of them, I know well.

Byers has never looked so good, at least in the two years I've known him. He's smiling and relaxed. Juliet has convinced him that he looks like a stud in glasses-and she's right. While the suits still get worn to class, when he's away from the university, the clothes are shifting towards more casual.

It looks good on him.

Love looks good on him. There's more color in the lightly freckled face than I remember ever seeing. The shoulders are not so bunched together.

And Juliet is radiant. She couldn't glow more if she was expecting, which I think she hopes to be sooner than later. The adoration she feels for this man is so hot and electric, you can feel it from across the room.

You could say sparks are flying, but it's more like a firestorm. And it did us a world of good to bask in the warmth of it.

Dinner was delicious-both of them are excellent cooks-and for a few hours, we are warm and happy and able to forget the maelstrom of anguish surrounding us.

We don't stay late. Tomorrow is going to be another long day, and we're both exhausted.

I hope Langly sleeps tonight. Maybe the combination of a momentary reprieve and sheer weariness will force him to succumb to slumber.

And if he sleeps, I will.

He catnapped some today while he was snuggled up with his sister, but he still looks drawn and haggard. He's channel surfing, doesn't appear to be looking for anything in particular, sitting in bed with the blankets drawn up over his knees.

I move in next to him, snatch the remote from him, snap off the lights, and press myself next to him. He doesn't protest-unusual, considering I grabbed the remote right out of his hands.

This is not going to be a night where passion takes over, where sweats fall on the floor in unceremonious piles, where the blankets get shoved aside, where every inch of each other is probed and tasted.

But this mixture of warmth and weariness floods over us, and it's so damned intimate. We're quiet. I can hear his heart beat, feel his breath on me as I curl up into his chest. The rhythm is familiar, comforting, tender. I can hear my own start to
match his; sooner or later, we get in sync. This is a different urgency. This is strictly search for the comfort zone, and we desperately need to go there more than anywhere else.

There are no tears tonight. Maybe it's because we're just all cried out for now; maybe there is some real peace in the midst of this nightmare. Calm at the eye of the hurricane. It doesn't matter. It's there.

And we sleep.
 

MICHAEL:

It's chilly in here...where's the blankets?

Wait a minute. I am NOT in my own room.

How do I know this?

I know this because one, this is not a waterbed. Two, it's a hell of a lot smaller than my bed.

And three, there is this most incredibly beautiful girl sound asleep next to me.

And I slept through this?

What the fuck time is it?

Oh shit. Went to sleep with my lenses in...okay. Glasses are in my backpack.

Just like American Express. Don't leave home without them.

I blink, trying to see the clock, but my eyes are all sandy. I'm on the wrong side of the bed to crawl over Kelly, so I close my left eye, which is my weaker one, and see if I can make it out.

I'm not sure, but I think it says 5:50...or something like that?

Then I hear this blast come from across the hall, and I recognize it's Miranda's alarm going off.

Shit. I spent the entire night here.

My dad is gonna have a cow.

But worth it. God. I glance over at the tiny sleeping figure that's pressed into my side...and I acknowledge that I have a raging early morning hard-on.

She looks so damn content. There's not a lot of light, but just enough I can see she has one fist pressed into her mouth. She's got her head on my shoulder.

God, I love her so much.

What time did we fall asleep? I don't have a clue. I remember lying here, next to her...oh God, we lit some candles. I'm amazed we didn't burn the place down.

And I don't remember when I slept this soundly. I mean, I don't feel even tired. I mean, I'm used to sleeping hard, being on a lot of drugs and stuff from being sick, but this...

I can hear Miranda cursing and banging around-girl has no sense of restraint in the morning-but locked up here in Kelly's room, it's so nice...

And goddammit, the alarm goes off.

This means, time to get up and do it all over again.

But with one nice variation. I get a smile, and a sweet "Hi." Then she wrinkles her brows together. "Oh, my God! You were here all night!"

"Yeah, and I didn't attack you once." God knows I was tempted.

She smiles again, and takes my hand, and kisses my cheek. "Thanks."

I don't want to move.

END OF PART 50