Rating: R

Summary: Sand, sun, water, and a very worried daddy.

Spoilers: Nope.
 

MICHAEL:

Should've left our shoes back at the house. The sand feels so great. It's warm but it's not burning our toes.

Looking at Kelly's toes again reminds me I want to paint her toenails.

She's got cute feet. They're not little, but they're nicely shaped.

She likes the wet sand near the edge of the water, she curls her toes into it, rolls up the bottoms of her jeans and digs in.

This is like the most perfect vacation in the world.

Except we should have left Dad at home. He's being such a grouch about Kelly and me being together.

So what if we were in the tub together? Big deal.

I mean, it was, but he doesn't have to make one out of it.

Kelly doesn't know he got on my case about it, and I'm not gonna spoil her fun. And she's having tons of it. She's going after sand crabs right now. She found an old paper cup-gak, how can people leave shit on the beach-but she's using it to catch the crabs.

Wearing contact lenses, I've now added sunglasses as a permanent part of my wardrobe. I can't believe how bright it is when you've got them in.

And today, it's bright...and so totally perfect. There're a few high wispy clouds, lots and lots of clear blue sky-same color as Kelly's eyes-and it's a great temp outside. It was a little cool earlier when we went swimming, but maybe later, we'll go in again, and we won't turn quite as blue.

I love water. I'm always happiest when I'm near it, in it, whatever.

I tell Kelly this and she giggles. "Miranda says you're a water sign."

"Huh?"

"Hey, I don't believe it, but Miranda has fun with it...she says you're Pisces, a water sign."

I'm vaguely aware I'm a Pisces, I'm not sure what that's supposed to imply.

"She says that means you're emotional."

Yeah, me and a lot of other people.

"I love that about you." She smiles at me.

"Yeah, well, what're you, she says?"

"Capricorn. A goat. Earthbound totally."

"Yeah, well, you may be earthbound, but you don't look like any goat I ever saw." Although my experience has largely been confined to petting zoos, I'm certain she doesn't resemble a goat of any species.

"She says it means I stick with things."

Yeah, well, true.

"I think it's all coincidence, myself. It's a false science. Of course, out of some false sciences, eventually there're new ones...you've heard of Kuhn's paradox?"

"Uh-huh." The prof enlightened me on this one. How the hell and where does that guy store all his knowledge?

"Then you know about how science develops. I love science. I think that's one of the things that makes me want to do medicine."

"And that you felt like you could do something good, not destructive." I remember her telling me about going with her mom when she was younger...what a shitty way to grow up.

But man, she's tough. And I don't mean nasty tough, even though she can get this way, but mostly, it hasn't made her negative about stuff.

She doesn't look negative about anything right now. She's got a bunch of sand crabs that she's totally fascinated with, and she's smiling like a little girl and playing on the sand and the edge of the water.

She spots a shell, and she's like totally taken with the shell.

"We could see if we find anymore." We start cruising farther up the beach, and we find mostly clam shells, but a few other that are kind of cool.

This place is so neat. It's so quiet here. Nobody much around. Of course, I bet in the summer it's real crowded, and not so neat, but probably still fun.

The houses here are on stilts, the ones on the beach. Makes me wonder how they stay up. This is hurricane country.

I could stay here forever like this.

A flock of gulls circles above us. Probably thinks we have food to give them, and we don't. I don't like gulls. I think they're like rats with wings...

And one of them manages to leave a dropping on Kelly's head.

She's like, what the heck, but she starts laughing.

"Guess we have to go back," I say.

"No way. I'll just go in the water and wash it off." She starts walking out. "Come with me!"

She'd ask me to walk through a wall of fire, and I'd do it. So I follow her in the water.

"Here, hold my hands, I'm going under." She's still not real at ease about submersion. She's gotta get over that if she's gonna be a good swimmer.

So I hold on to her hands, and she's shaking her hair around, and finally she pops back up.

She's totally drenched. And laughing.

"Come on, you too!" She pulls on my hands.

"Kel, I've got my lenses in!" I close my eyes, because I feel myself lose my footing with her pulling on me...

I think they're still there...

"You are so lucky!" I'm laughing at her. I blink my eyes, and I can see, so I mustn't have lost them. I'd know, trust me. I'm blind as a bat without correction. "You're a bad little girl, you know that?"

"Am not," she says, wrapping her arms around me and kissing me. "You're always saying how good I am."

"Well, how good are you?" I ask her between kisses.

"Guess you'll have to find out." She laughs wickedly, and we move on towards the rocks.
 

I have to admit, sitting around in your wet clothes, even with a gorgeous girl snuggling you, isn't great. I pull my shirt off and set it on the rocks to dry.

The sun is so great. Maybe I'll even get a tan. The ability to tan is one of the better parts of the Frohike DNA legacy. Plus I'm a quarter Italian, so I'm pretty sun-friendly.

Kelly runs her fingers down my back, and it's so gentle and nice.

Life as it should be.

I pull her in my lap and I feel her cold wet shirt against me.

Kel...that thing has got to go.

I start fumbling with the buttons on the front. Nothing's happening.

"Michael, they're fakes."

Okay, do I feel stupid or what?

But then she pulls it off over her head, and unsnaps her bra.

Oh man.

She is incredible. If it's possible, her tits look even prettier in the sun.

My hand wanders up to one snowy mound. They're perfect. Not large, but not tiny anymore, either, not since she put on some, in my opinion, much needed weight.

The skin is so silky, but then again, save for today, I bet they don't get a lot of exposure to the elements.

She's trembling. Big time. And it's not cold out here.

"You okay?" I ask her gently.

"I'm fine...just nervous."

"Hey, I'm not gonna do anything you don't want me to. Just tell me to stop, I will."

"No...I want you to. I'm just a little scared."

Her eyes are big. I don't want her to be scared.

I'm kind of nervous myself. But I just want her so bad.

And I want it to be great for her.

I kiss her shoulders, and she seems to get calmer. There's wind blowing over us, it's so warm. I move my mouth down from her shoulders to her back. I can feel her melt into me.

This is bliss.

Her fingers are traveling slowly down my back now. I shudder at each touch, light as the breeze on us, and even warmer.

Ohgodohgodohgod...

Mouths track each other. First kiss, it's almost not there, just a hint of touch, but it's enough to send a jolt of electricity through me. Then it deepens. I open my mouth, and she opens hers a little, and I slip the edge of my tongue into hers. I'm overwhelmed with sensations now. It's like my nerves are on overload.

God, she's so beautiful.

Suddenly she draws back and looks at me. "Do you think anybody's watching?"

I scan the area. These rocks look pretty private to me.

"Nah." And if they are, well, they're getting a hell of a show.

She snuggles into me, and I just want all of her so much...

"Michael? I'm not really comfortable out here. I'm sorry."

Oh boy. Just when it was getting good.

But I promised I wouldn't do anything she didn't want to do, and I'm not gonna break it.

I read somewhere real men keep their promises.
 

She's quiet and kind of bummed on the way back. "I know, it's really stupid..."

"No, it's not. You're not comfortable out there, you're not. Don't worry about it." I'm disappointed, but it's all right. It'll happen when the time and place is just right." I put my arm over her shoulder. "Besides, Dad is probably wondering where the hell we are, so get ready for the Spanish Inquisition."

She laughs. "Oh, come on, Michael, he's not that bad!"

"Bet me. You just haven't seen him in action."

"What's he going to do to you? Send you to bed without any supper?" She's still laughing.

"Hmm. That would be punishment, I suppose. Considering I'm starved. You?"

"There's something about here that makes me want to eat all the time," she's smiling. "C'mon, I'm famished."
 

MELVIN'S BRAIN IS TRULY LOSING IT:

The kids have been gone for over three hours. Where the hell did they go? I know they didn't drive anywhere, because we only have Jo's car and it's parked right here.

I know, I'm being overly paranoid, but I can't help it. It's those father genes kicking in with a murderous vengeance. Add this to the fact that I'm not exactly known for my trusting nature, and you've got a deadly mix.

They said they were going for a walk on the beach. True, there's a lot of beach, but they could have walked the entire coastline of North Carolina by now.

And if they come home with anything sore, I doubt it's going to be their feet.

Jo's been reading and napping on the beach, but she's bringing her lounger back up. She's been completely relaxed on this vacation.

I, on the other hand, am a nervous wreck.

"Melvin, are you looking for the kids?" Jo asks me.

"They've been gone too long."

"Melvin, they're adults. They'll be fine. And Michael's an excellent swimmer."

It's not Michael's ability to swim I'm concerned about.

"Melvin, you're not enjoying this trip, are you?" Her voice carries concern, but I sense bemusement crossing her lips.

And I'm anything but amused.

"I'm enjoying it fine, but these kids are going to make me crazy."

She smiles a small smile. "Melvin, you already are crazy."

"Thank you, Jo."

"Takes one to know one." She's not the least bit rattled by any of this.

Then again, one of the parties isn't her child.

She stands next to me on the porch, taking in the view. She looks to be lost in memories of her days on the Outer Banks with her family.

"Melvin, let them go."

Wait one moment-whose side is she on, anyway?

And coming from Jo, who is Catholic and conservative, I'm very surprised, to say the least.

In my world, there is loyalty and there is sedition. I don't cope well in the million variations on shades of grey in between. An odd admission for a man who spends his life chasing things that hide in shadows.

I consider my son's actions in the last 24 hours to be seditious. And I don't even know why.

Am I so frightened of losing him that I've lost all sense of perspective?

Jo, sensing this thought in me, stands with her hands on the railing and turns her face towards me. She's got a light sunburn, and a hint of the freckles she had in childhood are showing on her nose.

She looks twenty years younger, and I feel like she gave them all to me.

"Melvin, biologically, they're both adults."

"I'm well aware of that."

"And they're not such children anymore. Surely you must have noticed by now."

Oh, I've noticed.

Why do you think I'm so terrified?

"You need to let them go."

I know I do. But I'm fearful of what will happen to both Michael and myself if I do.

"He loves you, Melvin. He's not going to abandon you. Unless, of course, you keep trying to stop this from happening. It's useless. It's putting your finger in the dyke."

She's right, of course.

But it's so goddamn hard.

"Have you talked to him about this...other than to tell him don't do it?" She's challenging me.

"I certainly have." I think we've covered all of it.

She shakes her head as if to say, I don't think so.

"I'm not saying what they're doing is right, Melvin. But I will tell you, before I was in country, I swore that free love and premarital sex, well, that wasn't me. I was a good Catholic-school educated girl. But then I met Terry, and considering what transpired, well, I'm just happy we didn't wait."

Oh dear God. Please don't let her relay this story to the kids.

"I've never been sorry about it. Ever."

Did I ever regret a moment of what happened with Dee?

Not a chance of that. No way in hell would I ever give up a single moment of it.

"He's a good boy, Melvin. You've done wonders with him."

"He's so young."

"No, he isn't. I know it probably kills you to admit that, but he's not that young. And yes, that means we're not that young."

You could have fooled me by the look on her face.

She picks up her things from the beach. "Try to enjoy the rest of the vacation, instead of worrying so much about the kids. No matter what you do, they'll find a way."

And that's what I fear so much.
 

MICHAEL:

Dad's on the porch when we get back, sitting in the rocker, sipping a Sam Adams. Kelly says she's going to take a shower (another one).

"Where were you two?" He's not quite as sharp as he was the first time, but he's still unhappy with us.

This is turning this vacation into a major bummer.

"We walked to Florida," I say to him, real smartass style. He can cut into me, I can shove it right back.

Kelly kisses me and runs upstairs and I grab a Sam Adams and join Dad on the porch.

We have got to talk.

Actually, I need to talk, he needs to listen. For a change.

"I'm tired of you always being on Kelly and me. It's like you're always hassling us. What the fuck did we do so wrong? It's not like we're doing it right in front of you or something!"

"What would you call it?" His voice is menacing and low.

"I think I'd call it, get a grip, Dad!"

He glares at me. "I don't appreciate your taking that tone with me."

"Yeah, well, I don't appreciate yours! Christ, what do you think is going on here, anyway? Like if I discover sex or something-which, by the way, Dad, is not a brand new thing for me, hate to burst your bubble here-I'm just gonna go away and leave you in the dust or something?"

He looks like somebody pointed a gun at him.

Gotcha.

"You so afraid I'm gonna do everything wrong that you did? Give me a little credit, Dad-I'm quite capable of fucking up in my own way!"

"You said it, I didn't." His voice is cold, wounded.

"Look, I'm sorry you don't like it, but I love Kelly. A lot. And she's part of my life, and you're just gonna have to deal with it, okay? Just like I didn't like what happened with you and Mom, but I had to deal with it!"

Uh-oh. Wrong thing to say.

He doesn't look mad.

He looks like he's gonna burst into tears.

Oh, I got him good.

But once again, I feel like such an asshole for doing it.
 

Kelly's still in the shower. I wonder what Jo's doing.

I feel like such a total jerk.

I go and tap on her door.

"Melvin? I'll be out in a moment."

"It's not Melvin."

She comes to the door. "Michael. What's wrong?"

I must have the world's most transparent face. Everybody KNOWS when something's up with me.

I made a mistake, I tell her I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bug her.

"No, no, you're not. Come in. What's wrong?"   She closes the door behind her.

"It's my dad."

"He's being a pain, isn't he?" She smiles a little. I'm shocked that Jo would say this about my dad. "Don't look so surprised. He IS a pain sometimes. And I tell him he is."

"Yeah, well, I tell him, he just gets pissed off and won't talk to me."

"Well, Melvin's a bit on the silent side, and you know it. But he gets very emotional, and right now, he's being very emotional."

"It's like, I love this girl. What am I doing so wrong? I do good in school. I work my ass off. What does he want me to do, live like a monk?"

Another small smile from Jo. "I think what he's most afraid of is that you won't need him anymore. That's what I think."

"That is such total bullshit! I live in his house! I mean, if he wasn't there when I got sick and stuff and when I got kicked out of my apartment-"

"Tell him."

"Huh?"

"Tell him just what you told me."

"You're serious."

"I'm not much of a jokester, Michael. You know that."

No, she's not.

"He's a very stubborn man."

Oh Jesus. Is he ever.

"You're just like him that way."

Me?!

"Yes, you. You two are so much alike, and it worries him."

"Well, I wish he'd quit thinking I'm gonna be a carbon of him! I mean, does he like think I'm gonna be miserable all my life? I got no intentions of being miserable!" I spent long enough doing that, thank you very much.

"And you won't be." She says this like she knows. "But, Michael? Just tell him how much you love him, and how much you need him. I think you can get a lot of mileage points out of that."

Jo then shocks the shit out of me by pulling a pack of Parliaments out of her purse and a book of matches.

"It's my little vacation vice. I always let myself smoke on vacation. I quit smoking after I left 'Nam, but I still treat myself on vacation." She takes a killer deep drag, and she doesn't even cough.

"Dad'll never talk about what happened to him in 'Nam."

She smokes for a couple minutes, she looks like she's gonna have an orgasm if she keeps this up. I guess this is a vacation treat for her.

"It's painful to talk about. It was a horrible time...I was 23 when I got there, so idealistic, so convinced I could make a difference."

"You must've."

"I did what I could. But it is very difficult to talk about it, particularly when one hasn't been there."

She walks around the bedroom, totally enjoying her cigarette. "For years, Michael, I had this dream, and I was working on somebody, and trying to stop the bleeding. And all around me, there was the ocean rising. And rising. Only it was red. I don't think we need Dr. Freud to analyze that one." She laughs a little. "I don't get the nightmares much anymore. I think your father still does."

She stubs out her smoke. "Go and tell him you love him, dear. Do it now."
 

MELVIN, HAVING TOTALLY LOST HIS MIND:

The sun is starting to sink down below the waterline.

This vacation has been a disaster. Why did I think this would be so good for all of us?

All I can do is worry about everything. I was an idiot to think getting away would stop that.

I'm busily berating myself when I feel a strong pair of arms wrap themselves around me.

It's Michael. The last person in the world I was expecting a hug from. Particularly after the way I just chewed him out.

But he doesn't let go.

And I find a lot of comfort there.

"Hey, Dad? I love you."

Maybe this vacation wasn't such a bad idea, after all.

END OF PART 81