Ea Verba Locutus Optatos Dedit Amplexus Placidumque Petivit Coniugus Infusus Gremio Per Membra Soporem
 

LANGLY:

Christ, how long has it been since we did this?

Feels like forever...since we could...not that we didn't want to...

Like all the desire I had for the last four months is all there, floating on top. I could do it here and now...but this is too good to go fast.

Ally brings a pitcher of margaritas with her...she's been planning this, I can tell...I wonder if she's been as lonely and horny as me.

Since Valentine's Day, our bed's been pretty much for sleeping.

Not tonight it's not. We got more important things to do in it.

She tastes like tobacco and tequila, which makes for that distinctively delicious Ally taste. Yeah, I know, a lot of guys would say yuck, but she's like, she tastes like herself again...and I need this...so so so bad...

I need her so bad.

And it feels like tonight, she needs me just as much. Which feels great.

She's so little...so pretty...

And she's got that look in her eyes. That look that just makes me melt into this little puddle of nothing. She gets this look, and it's like so damn tender, she just drinks me in...

We kiss between sips of maggies. We start drinking from each other's, I feed her some of mine, she feeds me some of hers. I dip my first two fingers in the slushy concoction, and stick them in her mouth...she sucks away happily.

She crawls into my lap, which she can do 'cause she's so little. And she's got on one of my favorite dresses. It's long, and it's real soft, purple batik stuff all over it...and the best part is, it's got no back, just some strings pulled across it...so I can touch her skin real easy...and when I do, it's like, it drives her nuts, she stops sipping her drink and just sits there, breathing a little harder, letting my hands run over her. She reaches her lips up to my mouth again...she is giving me one wicked hard on here. I mean, I'm not 17, so it takes a little longer than it used to, but not that long...particularly when you've been starving for it...

God, it's like it's been forever since we just sat, and drank, and snuggled, and got ready to make love...

She is so incredible.

Am I still sad I can't make her a mom? Yeah, I am. We'll never have ourselves mixed up in one person...and that does make me a little down...but I know that like, she loves me for me now...she thinks I'm the one...I know she is for me. Anything she gives me, it's just for me, nothing else, no one else.

And that, my friends, is incredible.

She brushes her lips against my hair and my ear, and she whispers, you're my babe, and I just die right there. She's playing with my hair again, she loves to do that, and if I'm lucky, she won't say anything about how far south it's gone recently...or how gray...she doesn't. She just smiles at me, like I'm wonderful or something...maybe I'm not, I'm sure of that, but to have her think I am...well, that's just too awesome.

Everything that's happened to us...it's been sort of terrible in a way. Sad. Lonely. Hard.

But Christ, if it brings you to where we are tonight, how I feel, then shit, it was well worth the hassle.

"Love you." I whisper this to her as she strokes my hair and my lower back, and I'm rewarded with this amazing pretty smile.

We pop in one of the tapes we made-yeah, in a burst of originality, we called 'em the sex tapes. I was sort of looking for Volume 1, but don't know where the hell it is...so we go for Volume 2. Starts off with "I Wanna Wake Up Where You Are."

And I'll do anything you ever dreamed to be complete...oh yeah.

She is amazing...

"Langly. Lose the shirt." She whispers this in my ear, very soft, and I must obey...

She sometimes'll pull it off for me, but tonight, I get this look like, you do it, I wanna watch. And she does. She grins big when I do. Now it's my turn. Fortunately, I've dealt with this dress before...I remember the first time she wore it and we made love...I damn near choked her with it...but she laughed...she showed me how it works...I untie it, but I want her to lower the top of it. She does. She sort of blushes. Ally's not real shy with me, but she's kind of a self-conscious person...why, I don't know...we've seen each other like this a thousand times...

Just not lately.

Her tits look different than I remember. Still sort of puffy. Like she hasn't gotten rid of all the pregnancy hormones.

Might as well enjoy it while it lasts, because it ain't gonna stick around long. She's REAL sensitive, so I go easy on her. It's worth it. She says it sort of hurts at first, but then she's like moaning real soft, like she does when she's happy in bed. There's some sticky stuff, little drops of it, that comes out her nipples when I do, it's sweet though, not bad, and that seems to make her feel better, more I do it. And she has her first come of the night. Listening to that, it's like coming home.

She's gotta lose the dress. It's a pretty dress, but I just want her, nothing in the way. This time, I finish taking it off her. And remove the satin undies. Ally likes good lingerie. Can't say I was ever much of a Victoria's Secret guy before her, but man, since she's come along, I've come to appreciate good undies. Particularly getting rid of them. I'm treated to the sight of damp, light red curls, and parted legs.

"You're still dressed," she's chiding me, but she's got a big smile on her face.

"You do it." I ask her to, and we stand up next to our bed, and she starts undoing the buttons on my 501's, sliding everything off, till it's nothing but her and me, totally naked and together.

Nothing between us. No clothes, no work, no kids, nothing but us. Sort of like getting down to essentials.

She kneels down in front of me, and I'm getting the blow job of the century...she moves that marvelous tongue in ways I couldn't even imagine before. You can't pay for something like this. I don't care how skilled someone might be...

If they don't love you, it doesn't matter.

And she loves me, and I know it now...

I could come in a moment, but she's not gonna let that happen. We got so much to catch up on, and I'm gonna do it without cramming.

We keep checking each other out, all over, making sure we don't miss anything. I have missed her so much, doing this with her, and I'm gonna relish every second of it...

I've got to get in her. It's beyond desire now. I need to be there.

She's on her stomach...I hesitate to do this, I'm always feeling like I'm gonna crush her, but it's like she trusts me...her legs are spread, and I lower myself on to her, clutching her pretty ass when I do...she is so hot, and so wet, and I'm so ready...

And there is something to be said for not having to worry about protection. Nothing to get in the way of the moment.

Her pussy is tight. I've been away for a while, and it's a little bit of work to get in...but it's the sweetest work I done in a long time...and she cries out while I'm trying, she says no it doesn't hurt, it feels good...

I'm in her now. Oh Jesus fuck. I've been gone for so long, so long...

I can hear her cry out. She begs me, come with me, babe, now, come with me...

Some things I don't need to be asked twice. This is one of them.

So incredible...she is my angel...and in her, I die and go to heaven...

When we're done, I notice she's got tears on her cheeks and a big smile on her face. She runs her thumb over my cheek.

Only then do I notice I've got tears there, too.
 

I just cuddle her into me for a long time, keep her tucked up against my heart. She's so warm...

I stroke the cloud of red hair until I can hear her start breathing like she's sleeping. She's got a little tiny smile on her face, she looks so peaceful.

Somewhere I drifted down to go to sleep...
 

June 24, 2001

I can't even remember when I slept this good. That's how long it's been.

I sleep hard, and when I wake up, she's still curled up against me, that mysterious little smile on her face, and when I kiss the top of her head, I hear this murmur like she appreciates it.

God, I have missed this...and now, I have it back...this is so damn good...

I can feel her hands travel south...she might be sleepy, but my little red head wants me again...and I want her...

Well, until our human alarm clock goes off, anyway...

We're just about to get down and dirty when a voice that's disproportionately loud compared to the size of the body carrying it barges in and demands we get up.

We got to remember to get a lock for this door.

Wait, we had one...that's right, he knows how to pick it...

Maybe one of those motion sensor dog collars...you know, the kind where you put the collar on the dog and if they get too close to the perimeter, they get a shock...

This reminds me, I gotta see Scott today.

So I might as well get up and watch cartoons with this rugrat.

First, though, he's gotta get his little ass outta here so I can get decent. Even I have standards. They might be low, but I have 'em. And they don't extend to nudity in front of my nephew.

We gotta find a way to get some privacy around here.

We got lots of lost time to make up for.
 

Watching cartoons with the kid is actually fun-we just sit there with bowls of cereal and milk and I made coffee-I know, no one else will drink it, I don't give a fuck-and we get to enjoy Animaniacs and Pinky and the Brain and Earthworm Jim and Freakazoid. Ally comes out when Pinky and the Brain comes on, she loves that show, she must've heard the theme music or something. She parks it there with us.

This is weird. It's like, so damn domestic. It's Saturday morning, we're just hanging out and watching cartoons, eating cereal and drinking coffee...with our little kid...

Well, he's not ours. Yet.

But I think that's one of the things me and Scott are gonna talk about today. I mean, I don't have the genetic test things back yet, and that's not gonna happen for a couple weeks...and since Scully's doing it as a favor, and she's so busy, it might take longer.

Somehow, when the little monster crawls in my lap and snuggles up, it doesn't seem so important.
 

I should really take Ally with me. Patrick, too. I mean, Patrick still misses his dad. And this is gonna have a big impact on Ally...she loves him, she says as much.

"So do we wanna keep him?" I ask her.

She gives me a weird look. "He's family. We have to."

"We don't really know yet if he's family."

"Langly, how much more proof do you need?" She shakes her head and laughs at me. "Yeah, I know. You want the genetic results. Okay, fair enough. But the fact is, he's starting to get attached to us...and I think we are to him...and-" she gives me a wicked grin. "He reminds me of you. Totally."

I was afraid she was gonna say that.

"Why? 'Cause he's such a brat?"

She grins evilly again. "That, and the fact that in spite of the fact that he's a total monster, he's still...sweet."

Sweet. I don't think anyone ever called me that.

She smiles again, this time it's a big tender one. "Langly. You are sweet. Why do you think I haven't killed you yet?"

"Here I thought it was my prowess in bed."

"Speaking of that, hurry home..." She winks at me and licks her lips.

Once again, don't need to ask me twice.
 

It's tourist time in DC.

Spring and summer are bad for traffic. I mean, traffic's always sucky...but during the spring and summer, forget it. The place is crawling with people and cars.

Crawling's putting it nicely. I'm stuck on the Beltway, doing somewhere between 0 and 5 for the trip...and when you're stopped, the AC in the Corolla doesn't work so great.

Typical DC summer weather...hot, muggy, makes you wanna sit around and do nothing but drink all day.

I'd rather be cruising out to Chesapeake Bay. Always a nice breeze there, and where I go, it's off the beaten path, past the tourist beaches and all...

I think about the first time me and Ally made love, on the beach, in my spot at Chesapeake Bay. She was having such a bad day, and we got so toasted, but it was just the most incredible day of my life. At least up to then. I've had lots of incredible ones since then.

Not the least of which was last night.

It's weird...I feel kind of whole again.

And I didn't wake up feeling afraid. Annoyed at Patrick for interrupting what could have been a nice follow-up to last night, but not scared.

And I really slept. That was the most incredible experience, to sleep really good for nine hours and wake up and feel like, yeah, things are gonna be okay.

It's weird. It's like, we got all this misery and sadness around us so much of the time...and then, we get a morning like today, where we're just all hanging out and being happy...just little things.

So damned important.

God, get me out of this traffic.

The interchange for Southeast DC, about the only people getting off are me and anyone who got lost reading the map...it's not a big tourist attraction. I hope to God I can find a parking place. Maybe the spaces behind the old place are open. Sometimes they're chained off. And I don't do any heroics in driving. Not because I'm a wimp-I'm not, really-but because the car cost too damn much.

I luck out, only two blocks away I find one. I wave to some of the working girls on the corner; we still recognize each other. It's like going back to the neighborhood where you grew up.

And I don't get the third degree when I hit the bodega; they remember me, and they take me upstairs through the maze to Scott's apartment. If you can call it that. Three rooms, all about the size of one of our closets. No, I take that back. The walk-in closet in the photo lab is bigger.

I didn't think Scott could look any shittier than he did when I met him.

I was wrong.

He's beyond a corpse now. The guy is so thin, you can see all the veins and bones in him. He can barely breathe.

"Hey, George." He smiles at me. "Killed my son yet?"

"Come close a couple times. When'd you teach him to pick locks?"

"I didn't. He figured it out himself." Talking's a real effort for him now. If this dude lasts another week, I'll be amazed.

"Yeah, well, guess he comes by it honestly." I can't help but smile a little, but I feel real bummed, seeing someone like in Scott's condition.

"He seems happy there."

"Wasn't too happy when he found out I was seeing you. He overheard me and Ally talking. Only thing that saved my ass was that Junior came over and he offered to play with him."

"Junior. You mean Frohike's kid?"

"Uh-huh." Junior can be a pain in the ass, but God bless him today-I'd have never made it out the door with the screaming fit the kid was having. Junior has this way of getting little shrieklings distracted. "Hey, Scott, you don't mind me saying so, but you look like, well-I don't think you're like up to taking care of the kidlet right now."

He blinks his eyes. "George. In the drawer. Fire it up, would you?"

All I find is loose dope and the rolling papers. Oh Christ. It's been so long since I rolled a J...hope I remember how to do it...

Scott's watching me screw around with the stuff, and he's like, you DO know how to roll a joint, don't you?

"Hey, I went to college," I tell him, and finally, I get one rolled. It's not too bad, considering how out of practice I am.

"Make a few extras, would you?" He asks me, and I guess practice makes perfect, by the time I get the fifth one rolled up, I'm a pro again.

He's not gonna be able to do this on his own, so I sit down by him and we do a few shotguns. I don't let him have all the fun, either.

Now I remember why I smoked every day in college.

I gotta find out who his dealer is. This is good stuff.

Too good. I've got a wicked attack of the munchies coming on.

"Got some papers for you to sign," he gasps out. He's still not breathing too great, but the dope seems to make him hurt less.

"Uh-huh. Don't they gotta be witnessed or something?"

"Yeah. We'll get the family downstairs to do it. Later. George, I got a favor to ask."

Another one. Why am I not surprised?

It's bizarre. I should be real happy to find me a living relative-well, sort of living anyway-and I oughta be glad he called me out...

But I've got a real mixed thing about him. It's like, yeah, I'm glad to see him, in a way...but I'm pissed as hell at him for leaving me behind...he should've been there...all that time...

I know what he says. He did it to protect me and Joanie.

Also his own ass figured nicely into that one.

I mean, Scott's...I guess in a way he's been there. He's been like the best e-mail bud in the world for ten years...he always asked after me, my family...now I know why...

But in a lot of ways, he's like so fucking self-centered.

Then again, he's not long for the planet, so I guess I can't blame him too much.

I do, anyway.

"Whaddya want now?" I know, I'm a spoilsport. I can't help it. I mean, I'm sorry, folks, but underneath it all, I'm hurt.

"I'd like...to see Chesapeake Bay. There's this beach I used to go to, long time ago...it's really small, deserted..."

I damn near pass out when I realize, he's talking about MY beach.

And I don't know that I want him on it.

"I took you there. When you were ten."

I have to think back on that one...my memories of this are sort of fuzzy...

"You remember, don't you?"

"'Scuse me, I think I can do SOME things all by myself! God knows I didn't get much help from YOU!"

He shakes his head and looks sad. "I'm not going to defend myself."

"That's 'cause you can't."

"No, I can't. But I would like to see the Bay again. You game? You ever been back there?"

Oh, yeah. But not in a way I'm gonna share with you.

Still, he's probably got like one week left...okay, maybe we can not fight and make some peace...I don't know...there's so much there...I don't think one afternoon's gonna do it...

Then again, it only took one night for me to feel like I had my Ally back.

Might as well give it a try.

And it might be my very last shot. That thought makes me feel very, very cold...and it's sweltering in this place.
 

Scott ends up crashing for the trip, which is okay. I'm not real sure what to say to him, and I'm trying to sort out the mishmash of whatever it is that's lurking in the pit of my stomach.

The mugginess gives way to cooler ocean breezes when we get close to the coast. I can even flip off the AC. Scott's shivering, even under three blankets, which he had the good sense to bring. I don't think I could've stood it being as hot as he likes it. It's like he can't get warm anymore.

I get calmer as we get near the spot I want to stop.

It always looks the same. I can count on that.

Scott can barely move, but I help him get out and walk to the water. He hangs on to my arm.

I reach into my pocket for the elastic I keep to pull my hair out of my face. It's growing out now, and it's a real pain in the ass. I get it back in a low ponytail.

"Looks like you got the family curse," Scott comments, looking at my hair with those red, sunken eyes he's got.

"Thank you, Scott, I needed that." I do not appreciate my receding hairline being pointed out. I get enough reminders every morning, thank you very much. "When'd you lose yours?"

"Chemo. But it was pretty far back by then. I was pretty far gone by the time I was 45."

Okay, I'm 38 in a few weeks...so I've got like 7 years?

Jesus.

"Used to keep it long like you do."

"Uh-huh." Can we get off the hair thing now?

"Patrick looks just like you used to."

"We've seen some of Joanie's photos."

"You miss her, don't you?"

"Yeah."

"I wish...I'd done better by her...things I wish I'd done differently now..."

This is pretty cliché. But then again, dying might be the ultimate cliché, since everyone does it.

"Are you and Ally willing...to raise Patrick?"

"I think so. If we don't kill him first."

"He's a pistol, isn't he?"

"That's what the papers are for, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"We'll sign 'em."

"Thank you." This seems to give him a little bit of peace.

"I'm doing it for him, not for you," I remind him. I shouldn't be such a bastard...I just can't help myself, though. "I'm not gonna see that kid go through what I went through."

"I don't care what the motivation is...I just want him to be taken care of. I think you and Ally will do a good job...and you're family. The only family I've got left."

"You should've thought of that sooner."

"Ringo, look. I've explained myself. And I'm sorry. This wasn't my design, you know. I'm trying, as best I can. I can only tell you I'm sorry so many times. Believe me, I appreciate all this...but it went down the way it did, and I made the decisions I did because I had to. They weren't usually what I wanted to do." He may be in bad shape, but the look is hard, icy.

Sort of reminds me of the way my dad would look sometimes.

"I'm not asking you to forgive me, you know."

That's big of him.

"But I do ask you to accept...that I did what I could."

I guess I'll try.

"George, do you know how many times I was tempted to just show up where you were?"

"You didn't know where I was."

"Correction. I ALWAYS knew where you were."

Great. I've been stalked.

"I never wanted to put you in danger, George. And let me point something
out to you: you are."

"Why?"

"Because now you know. And they know you're a bright boy. And you'll figure it out." He coughs, hard, chokes up some blood. "Watch your back, little bro. I mean it."

I want to ask him what the hell he's talking about, but he's like ready to drop.

He takes one last long look at the water, grabs my arm, and we leave.

END OF PART 50