Quies Anxius
 
 

FROHIKE:

This is the last thing in the world I wanted to be woken up to.

I don't need another crisis, thank you. I have plenty to keep me going for quite a while.

I should tell Michael to deal with this himself.

Get real. There is NO WAY I would tell him to do that.

Of course, I really don't know anything about the situation...Michael came bursting into my room, babbling on about something about Kelly's lab being trashed and Dr. Shalad, who is apparently her boss, being dead...

Not exactly your run-of-the-mill trivial problem.

And something this serious...there is no way in hell I'm letting my baby boy deal with this on his own. I'm not sure he can, and even if he could, I'll be damned if he's going to be exposed to this without my assistance.

How arrogant of me to think I can help him, of course. There is probably absolutely nothing I can do to mitigate this situation...

Except be there.

And I think that's what he wants.

I've been gone so many times when my boy needed me. Maybe it's guilt that drives me.

Or maybe something else.

I don't have time to analyze that now. All I know is, he needs me, and I'm going to be there.

From now on.

He's so tired. And he looks so young when he's tired.

He's unshaven, which makes his age something of a giveaway, but the rest of the face is childlike, baffled, uncertain, fearful, and totally exhausted.

The green eyes are grey with lack of sleep, and the circles under his eyes have reached gargantuan proportions.

"I got July done," he tells me softly.

It takes a moment to register that he means the July issue of TMB.

Meaning he did this almost completely by himself.

I need to take a look at, of course...make certain it's up to standards...but I know Michael is a hell of a writer...

And I'm so proud of him for taking it upon himself to make certain it got done. Whatever the issue's shortcomings, I'm astonished and pleased that he took it over, with no goading or even gentle reminders. Just seeing what needs to be done.

It's a satisfying moment. He's become an adult, but right now, he looks like a tired child...

And I stroke his hair as he settles his head down on the front seat. All the way to DC.

The best of both worlds.

I love him so much.

MICHAEL:

I'm worried, but right now, I'm more sleepy than worried.

I sleep all the way to DC. My dad has to wake me up.

I'm glad I made him get up. I need him here. I'm scared.

I hope Kelly's okay. I got to see her.

Dad's better at this drill than me. Kelly's being questioned, and that makes me real scared, but Dad says they have to talk to her, not to worry...

Fat fucking chance. He looks worried himself.

He worries for all of us. All the time.

I feel guilty for dragging him into this...but I need him here, anyway.

I hope he's not mad.

He tells me, wait. He gets up and he's talking to the person at the desk, and I can't hear him, he talks real soft.

I feel like crying right now.

Can't do that. Be cool. Be strong.

I got to.

Dad comes back, tells me we'll see Kelly soon. He wraps an arm over my shoulder, and while I'm not big on public display of affection from him, I need it right now, and I bury my face in his shoulder. He just sort of croons to me, like he does when I'm sick, and tells me not to worry. Not yet.

I doze off against him.

We finally see Kelly. She looks like she is so scared. I run over to her and I put my arms around her and hug her tight. I feel her starting to cry. I just run my fingers through her hair and I tell her all the things my dad tells me. Don't worry. Don't cry. It's okay. I find myself crooning to her just the way Dad does to me.

She's trembling. Not the light little excited tremble she gets when we make love, but a real scared shake. I just rub her back until I feel her get a little calmer.

"I love you," I tell her softly.

We kiss, in the DC police station, real gentle. God, I just want to take her home and protect her. I don't want her to be exposed to ugliness like this.

Just like I think my dad doesn't want me to be exposed to it.

Too late, Dad. I already have been.

LANGLY:

I am so sick of being chewed out. I can't take this anymore.

But I can't quit. No way. I got people to take care of, and anyway, it's like, if I quit, they win, and I'm not gonna let that happen. No way.

I'm just gonna put up with it and hope it gets better.

It's gotta get better. It has to.

Meeting's over. I put my head down on my desk. Bryce comes over, taps me, asks me if I'm okay, says don't sweat it, we all get our asses kicked.

I'm just so tired, I'm having a hard time taking it.

Least Nathanson's going to lunch. Thank God. He'll be gone for an hour. That means an hour of peace and quiet for the rest of us. Maybe even I can sleep a little bit. Not like these dudes would rat me out; I've seen them do it.

I push my keyboard out of the way and set my head on the return. Not exactly the hotel Ally and me stayed at in Manzanillo-Christ, what I wouldn't give to be there right now-but I'm so exhausted...

It seems like ten minutes later when Goldie taps me on the shoulder. "Hey, Langly. Quitting time."

Huh? I think it was like 11:45 when I fell asleep...oh God, am I fucked or what?

He grins. "Relax. Nathanson didn't come back. Don't sweat it. Your secret's safe with us."

"That's sweet of you guys."

"Hey, you really think we'd hang you out to dry? Seriously, he didn't come back. Did he say anything about taking the rest of the day off? I thought he was just going to lunch."

"Don't look at me...don't know my ass from my elbow right now."

"So what makes today different from any other day? Seriously, Langly, it's 4:45. Get out of here."

Don't have to tell me twice.

BYERS:

I think I'm still dreaming when I hear a rap on my door.

The knocking is sharp, persistent.

Then I grab my thoughts and put them in order...it's probably Caroline.

I grope for my glasses and stagger to the door. I'm pretty unsteady on my feet.

Through the peephole, I can tell it's Caroline.

I open the door for her, and she greets me with a warm embrace. She looks, if possible, more tired than I am. I hug her and usher her into our home, a home she has never seen.

Caroline is always aware of things, no matter how exhausted she is.

"Your home is lovely," she assures me, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.

Did my own mother ever do this? She must have, when I was very small...but I have no clear recollection of it.

"The bedroom is yours," I inform her.

"Don't be silly. That's yours and Juliet's room."

"No. I can't sleep in there unless I'm with her. Please, take it."

She smiles. "If you insist. But when she's home, I'm moving to the sofa, whether you like it or not."

I think that would suit me just fine.

I suddenly realize...I've had housesitters, and I'm not certain that they cleaned up after themselves...

I rush into the bedroom.

The bed is made. Perhaps not the way I would have, but the sheets are clean, and the covers and pillows are arranged neatly.

I guess Michael can clean up well when he has to.

And Tivvy, admittedly, does seem fat and happy.

He's done well. I will have to remember to do something nice for him. Compensate him in some way.

If he's Frohike's son, though, and I think he is, he'll tell me to forget it.

I hand her some towels from the linen closet and set her things in our room. She thanks me.

"I...need to get some work done."

Her soft expression grows firm. "No, you don't. You're going to stay here and rest. And don't argue. I won't have it."

"You should rest, too."

"And I intend to. But you're going to as well. You and Juliet have a lot ahead of you. Save your strength."

She pulls off her shoes, lies down on the bed, and is asleep before I completely close the door.

Caliban follows shortly. I'm still exhausted, and I'm not much good for conversation...I'm grateful that he is in the same state.

I offer him the sofa. He declines, saying that he has kept his motel room and will be returning there shortly. I feel horribly remiss as a host, but Caliban waves his hand in a dismissive gesture, saying he'll be more comfortable there, and he has only come by to make certain his mother and I are all right.

He is a decent sort. I may not have made out well in the parental department, but I've been multiply blessed in the area of in-laws. I keep wondering why they are all so nice to me. Surely I've not done anything out of the ordinary to make them like me...

But I'm still grateful that they do.

Caliban, to my relief, and probably his, announces that he's going to return to his hotel room, and I should get some sleep.

I do.

LANGLY:

Where the fuck is Ally?

That's right...she went back to work today. Seems strange not to have her here when I get in. Even Miranda's not here. Place is totally, completely quiet, including the offices.

Weird.

I can probably catch a little more shut-eye before the deluge.

Too late. Here they come. I hear the Neon pull up. Ally pops out, and with her, she unleashes the devil-child known as Patrick.

He hasn't been a very happy camper the last couple days. I hope nursery school was good to him.

Ally looks kind of tired, but happy...she likes being back. She says it's gonna take her some time to get back into it, but she's just like so glad to be back to doing what she likes.

I'm kind of jealous here, but I'm glad for her, too. Actually, I'm mostly just tired.

I hope she's making something good for dinner...she started cooking a few days ago, and it's been totally awesome. Nothing fancy, but Christ, way better than Stouffers', take-out and whatever Miranda feels like coming up with. Not that Miranda can't cook. She can. But she's more into 15-year-old girl things, and cooking for the family just ain't one of 'em.

To my amazement, Patrick even looks a little worn out. He's running around some, but he seems to give out faster than usual. He shows me some stuff he did today. One's a painting-hey, the kid can draw! I'm impressed-and the other is some Hebrew letters. I'm sort of confused by this; I don't even recognize what they are at first till Ally tells me.

"It's a Jewish preschool, Langly. I told you that."

If she did, I don't remember.

I wish she'd talked to me more about this...but I know if I get into it now, I'm just gonna fight with her, and it's gonna be ugly, and I'm not in the mood for ugly right now.

We can talk about it later. I mean, I think it's okay...just not sure I'm real comfortable with the idea that she just decided to step in and take over on the issue of religious training...fuck it. Not tonight.

I just want some dinner and my bed. That's it. Everything else has to wait.

It's pasta, but it's good pasta-even Miranda doesn't bitch about it. (She gets sick of pasta. Feels like she was raised on the stuff).

Hey, she could have it a lot worse.

Patrick's still skeptical of Ally's cooking, he doesn't trust what doesn't come from boxes, but he will do the garlic bread. Smart kid.

He still acts like the Energizer Bunny at dinner, but afterwards, when I offer to rock him in the rocking chair, he accepts, and we both end up falling asleep.

Ally picks Patrick up and settles him into his corner with the sleeping bag-looks like we got to get that kid a bed. He's got one, at Scott's place, but Scott's place is all cordoned off right now.

That monster child has a way of looking angelic when he's asleep.

"They all do. That's why we don't kill them," Ally tells me this when she's leading me down the hall to go to bed. I'm leaning into her, I'm surprised I don't topple her over, but I don't.

She tells me, go brush your teeth, I can't do that for you, but everything else,she does. She pulls off my clothes and tucks me in and then says she's gonna go get ready herself.

I'm just about dead to the world when the phone rings. And it's our line. Fuck.

I look at the time. 8:40. Nope, not late enough to threaten to kill anybody...but I might, anyway.

It's fucking Frohike. Goddammit. It better be damn important, 'cause I'm ready to crash here.

"Feel like a little side trip into DC?" he asks me.

"No, I do not fucking feel like going anywhere. I'm dying here."

"You haven't seen Kelly tonight, have you?"

I don't think so...but then again, Kelly's like a grownup, we don't watch everything she does. Least I don't. I don't know what Ally does that way.

"Why?"

"Well, she's with Michael and me...she had a bit of a problem at work today."

"That's nice. We all had problems at work today. G'night, Fro." I'm gonna hang up before I blast him.

"She came to work and found her lab trashed...and Dr. Shalad dead. Wasn't she the doctor that...treated you and Allison?"

Oh fuck yeah. Shit.

"She okay? I mean, Kelly."

"She's...pretty shaken up. We're at home right now. She and Michael are...asleep in his room."

Whoa, the Fro is putting up with this? From what I could tell, he still thought his little guy was some sort of virgin. Or ought to be.

"So whaddya wanna do in DC, Fro?" It's gonna have to be REAL tempting to drag me out of this bed.

"Well...I want to make certain this is...being followed up in the proper manner."

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"Well, the lab and offices are taped...but it's strange. The only people they talked to were Kelly and the two lab techs and the secretary. Nobody in the building, and it didn't sound as if they planned to do any outside interviewing."

I sigh, big time...I really can't deal with this.

"Frohike, I am like running on empty. I wanna get in bed with my wife and make the world go away. I mean, if they're not doing this right, it's not like they're gonna be doing it right tomorrow, okay?"

"You sure you're not up for some funky poaching?" He sounds a little disappointed.

Too damn bad. I'm so tired I hurt.

"Lemme get some sleep. This is still a problem in the a.m., we'll talk. 'Kay? Sorry. Just not up for it right now." I really don't want him mad at me. I just...I know if I do this tonight, I'll be so dead tomorrow...and I got a ton of other stuff that needs doing...

"I may go up there with Mulder tonight." He's baiting me.

Not gonna work. He and Mulder can go to the moon for all I care, and find little grey men all over the place, and transport them back to earth...just let me sleep, for Christ's sake!

"Frohike, y'know I love ya, but I really gotta go to bed."

"Get some sleep. We'll talk tomorrow. But we need to check this out. Sooner the better." He's off the line.

I feel kind of guilty-the Fro has a way of doing that to you, whether he wants to or not-must be Catholic school or something.

I don't care. I sink down into oblivion, and nothing else is there but Ally's touch.

MICHAEL:

How long were we asleep?

I don't know.

We're in my bed, in Dad's and my apartment...and Kelly's wrapped up in my arms. She's calm now. She's breathing like she always does. She has her face snuggled in my shoulder.

In spite of it being a really rotten day, this is like bliss.

She's so warm...and even though I'm so dead tired, it's like, I must be feeling a little bit more awake...I find myself getting hard with her so close by.

Down, Frohike. Your dad's in the next room.

Kelly's worried about lots of stuff. About what happened to Dr. Shalad. About Dr. Bergman-oh Christ, seeing him was the worst. He positively loves his wife. He was like totally destroyed today.

I went over and gave him a hug, for all the good it did, but he seemed to appreciate it.

I'm glad my dad was there. It was really awful. Kelly's worried about the lab, too, and also, what she's gonna do for a job.

Because as of right now, she hasn't got one. And she needs one.

I mean, Ally and Langly are cool, they won't hassle her about the money thing...but she's gonna have to get some.

If I had some, believe me, I'd give it to her.

All of it.

I'll give her everything she needs. I wish I had more.

But right now, it's good just to hold her here.

I do feel like I have everything.

FROHIKE:

I really wanted to check out the lab Kelly worked in tonight...while no one was around.

I used to be able to get up a lot more enthusiasm for funky poaching from people.

Tonight, everyone just wants to sleep.

I asked Byers, and Caroline Parker answered the phone, informing me in no uncertain terms that Byers was not going ANYWHERE until she considered him sufficiently rested. She is a lovely woman, but I don't think I want to arm-wrestle her.

Langly wants nothing but to crawl in bed with his wife and forget life in general. Michael is already there.

And Mulder is seeing a patient tonight. He's begun doing a bit of clinical work, I think mostly to say he's working.

God help us all.

Maybe there's a reason for this. Maybe it's a sign from god or whoever or whatever that I should just stay home and hook up with my old pal J&B.

And the phone rings, right around 9:00.

It's Jo. She says, I know it's late...

"It's not late," I assure her.

"I could...really use a bit of company and a friendly face," she tells me. "Do you mind if I come by for a little while? I promise I won't stay long."

She knows she's always welcome here, and there's no reason for her ever to rush. I tell her, come by right away, and she says she's leaving CU right now. I'm a bit surprised she's at work so late, but then I remember that she runs a support group there on Monday nights.

I'm troubled, though. It's not like Jo to be so...uneasy. She certainly has her bad moments, as do we all, but it's not like her to be so blatantly feeling a lack of composure, to the point where she feels she needs to have someone be with her.

But I'm grateful she chose me.

I guess I just need to be needed, that's all.

And I hear Michael coming out now.

It all starts again...

END OF PART 53