Tantaene Animis Caelestibus Irae?
 
 

MICHAEL:

Dad asks me if I'm hungry.

Not really. I'm still tired. And my face hurts like hell. I feel like someone slugged me in both jaws. And I'm well acquainted with the way it feels, thank you very much. This is, as Casey would say in class, not just metaphoric.

Only today, nobody slugged me. I mean, I feel a little clobbered, what with what happened with Kelly and all...watching her like that, man, it just makes my heart hurt.

She's still sleeping in my bed. I like having her there.

Even Dad isn't making a big deal out of it right now.

I am thirsty, though. I could use something cold. I check in the fridge, there's a few Sam Adams in there. I grab one. Thinking it'll make my jaws ache less.

Nice try, but not happening...it hurts to suck on it, and the cold...well, aargh!

I wonder if some crackers and milk would hit it. Once you crumble up the crackers and pour the milk on them, they turn into this pasty sort of mixture...Kelly thinks it's gross, but she's not in the kitchen right now.

I'm getting ready to check and see if Dad left any Premiums when I hear the door being rapped on. Dad gets up to answer, and a quick check reveals that we have a visitor that's acceptable...it's Jo. Haven't seen a lot of Jo lately. She's been busy, so have we. So it's nice to see her.

Except she looks pretty upset. Something real nasty must've happened. Jo is just not a getting-upset kind of person. I mean, I'm sure she does, but she's like so cool about everything, you can't usually tell.

Dad takes her arm, settles her in the kitchen at the table, and asks her if she'd like something to drink...she says promptly, a beer if you have it. Looks like she's gonna have fun with Sam and I'm not, but she looks like she needs it worse.

Dad pours himself a couple fingers J&B-Christ, how can he drink that shit?!-and sits down across Jo. They don't say anything for a while. I sort of get the impression they want me to leave, but I need something...I find the cracker stash, and Dad didn't leave a lot, but I could get a small bowl out of it, and I start the process.

"Michael, why don't you check on Kelly," Dad suggests.

"No, it's all right, he can stay, Melvin, he's certainly old enough." Her voice is a little shaky. That's really not like Jo.

Old enough? Does this involve sex?

I doubt it. Not with Jo. She's a nice Catholic girl...course, Dad says those are the ones that get in trouble...least when he was in school...and even though Jo says I'm old enough, I think if it involved a guy or something, she'd wanna talk to Dad by herself.

"I'm..being followed. I'm certain of it." Jo takes a hard slug on her Sam. I've only seen Jo drink like this a few times-Ally and Langly's wedding, the trip to the shore, and Joan's funeral.

She is one scared cookie. Except you don't think of Jo as a cookie. She's like-I mean, she's sweet and all, but not in the way some women are sweet. Ally's sweet like a cookie. Jo's not.

"And I've been getting threats. At work."

Dad looks alarmed, as you would expect. He doesn't like this kind of stuff-well, duh! None of us do, but Dad always takes it hard.

"Nothing at home?" He looks like he expects her to evade him, but she doesn't.

"No, and that's what's so strange. I know that my home is well-concealed-and I vary my routes-but getting these sorts of e-mails at work...and regular correspondence, and hangup calls, and calls with electronically altered voices-this is getting to be very disconcerting.

"How long has this been going on?"

"About a week. It began the start of last week."

Dad's gonna flip. He'd expect her to tell him the first time she got something she even sort of kind of thought was a little bit suspicious.

But he trusts her-I mean, she is very cool-and if he wigs on her, she's just gonna get pissed off and not tell him anything. So he sips his J&B and keeps it together.

"Did you make your department head aware of this?" Dad asks her, going through the standard drill.

"Of course I did...and what's strange is, he's getting the same sorts of things."

"What sort of things are you getting?"

"Well...as you know, under the ADA, the students I work with are entitled to federal monies to equalize their opportunities in the classroom."

"Okay." I'm not real familiar with ADA, but Dad knows some stuff, and Ally knows a lot.

"ADA is being repealed, you know."

"I'd read something to that effect...but it's very difficult to repeal a law...and I suspect this repeal would be unpopular," Dad says as he sips away. God, how can he stand that crap?

"Not as unpopular as you think," Jo says, and I'm kind of surprised. I mean, ADA. Who could be against equal access if you have a disability?

"I know there's been dissension from the time it was passed in 1992...and the law is hardly perfect. But it's like the abortion laws: a fallible choice is better than no choice. Most people, I would think, would be willing to live with it, warts and all."

"Melvin, the plan is that everything will soon be privatized," Jo says and her voice is real sad. "That means, no more government funding for anything."

"So how do they plan to accommodate these people?" I'm curious now, and I must've asked something fairly not stupid, because Dad doesn't give me an ugly look.

"Well...as you know, come September, there will be no more public school funding...there is talk of implementation of a voucher plan...with special tax breaks for so-called Christian schools, of course...but there is pressure on the Catholic, and other nonfundamentalist, nonevangelical institutions to quit professing our own beliefs."

Religion, being Catholic, that's real important to Jo. I could understand why this causes her a lot of pain.

Dad shakes his head. "There is absolutely no way this mechanism could be in place in the next 90 days. It's absurd."

Jo nods in agreement. "But you watch. I'm not supposed to know this...but if we don't comply with the expectations of the current administration, there is a chance we're going to be shut down."

"Catholic U is a major institution. You can't just shut down a major institution just because you don't happen to like the provisions of the First Amendment."

"I read some of the memos I wasn't supposed to see," Jo says softly. "They're insane, of course. Accusing the Pope of being the Devil Incarnate, and of the Catholic church being his right hand, spreading false doctrine..."

Okay, so I think some of the Church's doctrine is a little whacked...I mean, come on. Transsubstantiation? Let's get real, folks. That tasteless wafer does NOT turn into the body of Christ, and if it did, we'd all be in a whole lot of trouble. A lot of bearded women out there.

"We are a conservative institution," Jo is like so amazed this is happening. "We've always been big on tradition, service to the poor, helping those who need it. We sponsor one of the largest free law clinics in DC, we provide food banks, counseling services...there is nothing we do that is so absolutely radical that it would warrant this. I think the only thing we do is that we recognize the Pope as the head of the Church."

"Which appears to be sufficient to incur their wrath," Dad reminds her.

"What's next, Melvin? It will be illegal to attend a Catholic primary school? Be cared for in a Catholic hospital? Worship in a Catholic church?" She puts her hands over her eyes. "Melvin, I know that you don't believe...but the Church is central in my life, and it always has been. I've grown up in its traditions, I believe fundamentally in its values, even if I don't always agree with the doctrines, and I'm grounded in it. And perhaps I'm overreacting, but I'm frightened."

It's real bizarre to see Jo like this. Jo under reacts most of the time. She's like, wait and see...this freaks me out.

Dad's thinking. "I'm wondering...events are becoming so strange...I'm just thinking that maybe what happened to Kelly's boss today...might have something to do with this."

Jo's eyes flash, but she's trying to keep her voice neutral. "Of course it does, Melvin. Don't you see? A Jewish fertility doctor, an Iranian immigrant...and a woman who knew her own mind, from all indications that Kelly has given me. I think this is somehow all linked."

"It's a bit of a stretch," I throw in my two cents' worth.

"Maybe not," Dad is still lost in space, contemplating the Big Stuff.

Christ, I am not in the mood to deal with Big Stuff tonight. I just wanna get back to bed and cuddle up with Kelly.

And if somebody could make my face stop hurting, that'd be good, too.

LANGLY:

June 27, 2001

"What?" My phone is ringing, and it's not even 8 fucking o'clock. At least Nathanson's not here yet...but then, it's probably him.

"Langly." It's Ally. And she sounds a little upset.

"Hey. What's up?" I hope Patrick didn't do something like put a bomb in her car. I try not to sound irritated with her.

"Well...I went to take Patrick to nursery school today...and when I got there, there's an eviction notice taped to the door...Langly, I was just there yesterday. Nobody said anything. You checked this place out, didn't you?"

"I think so."

"Do me a favor. Check it out again...just so I have a clue...in the meantime, I have a more practical issue at hand."

"Which is?"

"Jesus, Langly, you are such a guy! I have to go to work, and I've got no place to take Patrick."

"Make Miranda watch him."

"Miranda's got her own babysitting job today." This is like so damn ironic.

"So drop him off and make her watch with their kids."

"I suppose I could...I'll probably have to offer her combat pay to do it."

"Or take him to work with you."

"Oh, right, Langly! I'm really going to take El Destructo to a lab full of million-dollar equipment...Dana would just LOVE that. She doesn't even bring her own kids."

"I'd say go with the Miranda plan."

She sighs. "Easy for you to say...you don't have to present her with the proposition."

Thank God for small favors.

It's 10:00, time for coffee break #1, and Nathanson is, in Ally's words, still in absentia.

"Where the fuck you think he is?" Bryce grabs his mug and I grab mine and we head out for a few minutes away from the world of codes and ciphers.

"Beats the hell out of me. All I know is I got more work done this morning than I did in the last four months with him out."

"No, Langly, you got more work done this morning 'cause your wife's not pregnant."

That was cold. Got to remember that Bryce isn't huge on tact. Cut him a little slack.

Still, I could punch him out easy.

He like knows his faux pas, and he sort of turns red..."I didn't mean for it to come out like that...sorry...I just meant...well, y'know, you haven't been all there, dude."

Hey, I knew that.

And I'm not gonna fucking apologize for it, either.

And it's not like I got no concerns right now.

"Actually, it was a real shitty weekend," and my voice is like nastier than I planned it to be. I like working with Bryce, he's really okay...and I probably shouldn't say anything to him, but tough. I'm tired of dealing with all this shit on my own. "My brother got shot. And I got no idea by who or what, and I'm trying to deal with his kid-"

"Whoa, back up. You never said you had a brother."

"I didn't think I did."

"So what the fuck happened?"

"Got a call from him a few weeks back...he was real sick, and he's got this little kid...and now I've got him."

Bryce like shakes his head. "Whatever drugs you're doing, man, I want some."

"Fuck you, asshole."

He laughs. I mean, LAUGHS. "And I thought my life was weird."

"You're weird. I don't know about your life." I suddenly don't want him around. And I don't feel like talking to him anymore, that's for sure. You're not gonna listen with an open mind, get the fuck lost.

He holds up his hands in a time-out type gesture. "Hey, I'm not trying to come down on you, man...it's just...what the fuck is it that you get in so many weird situations?"

"Just born lucky, I guess." I doctor up another cup of battery acid coffee. I don't mind it. Everybody bitches about the coffee here, but I think it's okay.

"Y'know, everything has been pretty weird...especially since Sheridan kicked. I'd like to know about that one."

"Tell me about it."

"Just did. I've been doing some...investigating."

I'm sort of surprised...I mean, I'm not in a way...Bryce got along good with Sheridan. We all did. As a boss, he was like so totally cool to all of us.

"I think it was the gay thing," he announces.

"I dunno. He was like, I mean, he had this damn near perfect military record-"

"And he was totally lavender, dude! They don't like them in the military, you know."

"Never did."

"But now I think they're gonna make it real bad for cake boys here. I think Sheridan was the example."

"No, he wasn't! I mean, it was like, they didn't even announce his death...it was like he just decided to resign...I bet nearly nobody knows what really happened to him outside of our area. So how the fuck is he supposed to be an example? And for what?"

Okay, at least Bryce can see holes in his logic. "I dunno. I still think...things are weird, Langly. Like this weekend, my girlfriend-"

"You got a girlfriend? You never said anything about that-should I believe you?" I'm taunting him, and I don't give a fuck.

He sort of blushes. "Well-it's recent..."

"How recent?"

"Three weeks." He's like red now. It's real fun to come down on Bryce about this stuff. He is such a WASP in some ways.

"And you don't share with us? I mean, what are we supposed to do for living vicariously through other people?" Okay, I'm kidding him a bit.

"Langly, you been keeping us busy enough with YOUR life! I'm lucky I get a word in edgewise!"

Okay, I deserved that...I am the mouth of the bunch. Okay, me and Goldie.

"And besides..." I am having too much fun watching him be embarrassed..."I didn't wanna say anything till it seemed like, you know, it was more than like this one-nighter thing..."

"Where'd you meet her?"

"In a bar. Watching the Rats on Crack. Awesome band, you need to check them out."

Uh-huh. In my copious free time. Sure.

"Jesus, talk about unoriginal, dude."

"Yeah, but hey, it worked, didn't it? You never told me how you met your wife."

And I'm not gonna. It's long, and it's complicated, and I don't trust Bryce that much.

"So does this chick have a name?" I'm curious if it's a real woman or a blow-me doll.

"Yeah." He's grinning. "Julie."

Julie. Fuck, are half the women in DC named Julie?

That's my niece's name. No, couldn't be her...

"What's she do?"

"She's not real specific, just does what needs doing at this law firm in Virginia."

Oh fuck. No, there's gotta be more Julies doing this kind of shit.

"What's she look like?"

"Tall, dark hair, big girl...pretty."

That would fit my niece's description.

"Was a physics major...can't figure out why she's working in a law firm...said she can't get grants for her work, though..."

Another point. Shit.

All the single women in the area, and he's going out with my fucking NIECE!

I oughta kill him.

"You met her in a bar." Julie's supposedly spying on her dad's firm...what's she doing out in a bar? I mean, people could see her there...maybe she figures, rather stupidly, that nobody from her line of work would think about finding her in a bar...

And what's she doing with a loser like Bryce, anyway? I mean, okay, he's a bright guy and all...but he's like ten years older than she is...and he's a hacker...and what the fuck are they doing...

"We tried to get some, you know, condoms this weekend..." He's red again. I like this part.

"Uh-huh." One nice thing about doing it with Ally: no interruptions. I gloat inside.

"And we couldn't."

I gloat some more.

In the meantime, I've got some e-mail to send...and my goddamned niece better damn well answer.
 

It's lunchtime. Still no Nathanson. No answer from the niece, either. I wasn't expecting one yet...I sent her one via my e-mail in the office out back, not from my e-mail here at work.

She damn better answer me tonight.

Phone rings. I hate the fucking phone.

"Yeah?"

"Langly!"

It's Miranda...oh great...she wouldn't call unless it was REAL bad...

"What?"

"Langly, get over here and pick up your goddamned kid, or I'm going to kill him!"

"Why, what'd he do?"

"Langly, these people paid big bucks to have this mural done on their dining room wall...and Patrick managed to get into every kind of food in the kitchen and smeared it all over the wall...and I'm gonna be totally fucked if I can't get it off!"

I hear a lot of kids screaming and crying behind her...and a dog barking...it sounds sort of like our house, only worse...

"Okay, okay, I'm going to lunch, tell me where you're at, I'll get him." Better than paying for somebody's fancy artwork...

She gives me an address in one of the more uppity parts of Alexandria.

I got to figure out what to do with this kid the rest of the day.

Fuck.

Patrick's crying when I pick him up. Miranda says he's been crying most of the day, he's real upset, she can't get him to cooperate at all...

I tell him we'll go see Aunt Ally. This doesn't make him any happier. He manages to scream most of the way back to DC...until he falls asleep in the back seat...

Now if he'd just stay that way.

He doesn't want to get up when we get to Ally's lab at Georgetown-okay, it's not her lab, but that's where she works-so I end up carrying him.

Christ, they get heavy fast. He's still half out of it.

By the time we get to where Ally is, though, he's like all recharged and ready to rock and roll.

"Langly, you can't bring him here!" Ally's buried under a ton of print-outs and has about ten windows open on her screen. She's looking a little frazzled, but right now, that's not my problem.

"I can't take him to my work!" I'd get shot. Lately, that's not much of an exaggeration.

"Well, I can't have him here! Look around! Can you imagine what he'd do to the mass spec?"

I don't wanna think about it, but I've got like twenty minutes to get back to work...sans kid...

Dana Scully approaches us. Looking as hot as ever. She's frowning, though.

I hope I didn't get Ally in trouble...I mean, even though I don't like it that she wanted to get back to work so fast, I don't want her in trouble with Scully...she's one mean lady when she's pissed.

"What's going on?" Comes out kind of like, "Whas gon o'?"

Ally's signing fast to her, I'm sure she's saying, we got child care problems or something like that, but I don't anything like her asking Scully if she can leave...

Scully starts smiling. Maybe this will be cool if he can stay here...

But then, her little smile turns positively diabolical. She looks like she wants a payback.

"Tay' him o'r t' Mul'er," it comes out.

"She says, take him over to Mulder," Ally clarifies.

Scully's still grinning evilly.

Ah-hah. She's been pretty pissed off at Mulder for taking Becca on an unauthorized field trip. Maybe she's still pissed...

Maybe she just found a great payback.

If this isn't one, I don't know what is.

I find myself grinning evilly, and as I leave, I see the same expression on Ally.

Maybe this day won't be so bad after all...

END OF PART 54