MICHAEL:

I'm looking at the checkbooks. Byers remembers to put stuff in Excel all the time. No entries he made missing. Dad remembers about 75 percent of the time. He must do it like just every once in a while, because everything he didn't put in, it's at the end, in one chunk. So it's not too too bad.

Langly? Well, I know he brags that he hasn't been to the bank since they got a mortgage...and it shows. It'd be easier if he just didn't put anything in at all, but sometimes he sticks stuff in, sometimes he doesn't...and there's no order to it.

I hope Ally doesn't let him anywhere near their checkbook. If she does, they must have some serious knock-downs when nobody's looking.

Doing this takes nearly two hours. I ask Dad a couple questions, but he's all off in his own world, hard to get his attention.

I didn't look, but how much you wanna bet he got some new downloads?

Kelly's compiling some data stuff, still working on these weirdo viruses...trying to see who originated them, and why.

"Do some stats on 'em," I tell her.

"Michael, you forget, I took calculus, not statistics."

"Not that hard."

"If you know how to do it."

"You want me to show you how?"

What I'd really like to do is finish this miserable bookkeeping so I can write myself a check...actually, I'll have to get Dad to do it. I don't sign on any of the accounts, and nobody's offered me the privilege yet.

But I need some stats done...and Ally's not around.

Well, Ally picked it up pretty fast. She'd done stats, but not for a long time, but still, I mean, Kelly's real smart, she can do this...

So do I wanna leave the stuff and have to deal with it myself later, or do I wanna take two hours and show Kelly how it's done?

If I show Kelly how to do it, I don't have to deal with it another time when I'm just as pressed for time...which is getting to be always lately.

I got to admit, I don't like being stopped in the middle of something and then I have to do something else and go back to it later. I'm a lot better if I can just start it, work it through, and finish it off. I'll put off starting stuff, but once I start it, I like to finish it.

I decide it's time to show Kelly how to do stats.
 

And she's really pretty good at it. Don't need any elaborate models here, just some basic stuff, and it's a lot easier than calc, she says, and in about an hour and a half I got her going. I'll teach her the fancy stuff later.

She tells me I'm a good teacher. I like hearing it.

I wish I had someone teaching me how to deal with these goddamn Excel programs. Actually, I take that back. I don't really want to learn how to do this. I want somebody else to do it for me.

Have these guys ever considered an accountant?

I doubt it. I think they consider hiding stuff from the IRS a coup...and an accountant would probably find all of it. They're bright guys, but they are not financial geniuses in anyone's book.

Next thing: did all the subscribers pay us? Do we know?

And we got subscription stuff coming in all the time. I wonder how many of the Visa cards are stolen ones. Supposedly, when somebody pays, the bank records it, unless they pay cash, and then it's supposed to be put in Excel...I hope to god the prof did this.

I can't make heads or tails of this. Where's the subscriber lists?

At least the prof has the subscriber lists. Which means you can read them. And they're alphabetized.

If the checks were screwed up, this is really scary. It's like you can't even tell what goes where half the time. The Visa/MC stuff, okay, but if anybody pays cash, or pays under a different name...Christ.

At least by the time I sort of get it together, it's nice to know we're in the black. So far.

The bills. They've been piling up for a while. Everything's due. Electricity we haven't figured out how to get for free yet. We pay one phone bill for one number just to keep Bell Atlantic from being nosy. Then there's the printing supplies, and equipment, and more equipment...

By the time it's pushing dinnertime, I figure out these guys are not doing this for the money. We're in the black, but barely. There's just enough to make payroll, with a little left over.

I can't believe this took all fucking day.

But I do have cash again.

You take victory where you can get it.
 

FROHIKE:

My son probably thinks I'm engrossed in cyberbabes, but alas, this is not to be today.

I've been scanning the activities of pharmaceutical firms around the country. Most specifically targeting ones in northern New Jersey. I start with the basics: stock records, corporate meetings, shareholder meetings, articles, the public stuff. That's easy to get, and sometimes, if you're lucky, you don't have to go any further.

I was not lucky.

Pharmaceutical companies have always been among the more secretive of businesses, and in this day and age, they have become even more so. It's difficult to break their internal systems, compared to what it used to be.

And it's not a game anymore. Not that it ever was, but there were times in the distant past where we would leave a tag indicating we'd paid an unauthorized visit.

We don't dare do that nowadays. The tags, in a way, were sort of a friendly reminder, and these visits are distinctly unfriendly.

And my ulcer knows it.

It's six o'clock. Any reasonable person would have started drinking six hours ago.
 

Allison, bless her heart, always makes certain there is a generous quantity (at least a fifth) of J&B available for me; I hope she maintains her track record tonight.

I slip quietly into the kitchen. I know I am welcome here, but sometimes I don't wish to disturb the fact that a family actually resides here. I try to respect their privacy, just as I expect them to respect mine...

Well, right now, it's a bit more difficult than usual to do that.

Allison and Langly appear to be having what could be termed a 'heated discussion.' It hasn't escalated to the level of an out-and-out argument, but it's not exactly in the realm of calm and friendly. Her voice has taken on the glass-cracking quality it acquires when she is tense, and he, of course, has reverted to whining. I can't tell you how many times I've been tempted to smack him and tell him to get the snivel out of his voice. I suspect had I succumbed to temptation more often, we might not be friends.

I don't mean to pry...but let's face it, they're not making much of an attempt to keep the volume down.

"So what's it gonna be, Ally?" He sounds impatient. I have no idea what the subject of the discussion is, but he appears to be pressing her into some kind of decision.

Careful, Blonde Boy. She is very stubborn. You are, too, and this could be one hell of a Mexican standoff.

And I don't think I want to be around to witness it.

"Langly, I didn't know I had to come up with a decision by dinner time tonight! Jesus Christ! It's not exactly like this is trivial, you know!"

"No shit."

"So don't pressure me!"

"Hey, I wouldn't if it wasn't important, y'know!"

"Well, I have a lot of considerations here!"

"Like what? A job you make 15-5 at a year? Jesus Christ, Ally!"

"It's not the money, Langly!"

"Then what the fuck is it, Ally? You tell me, 'cause I'm missing something here!"

"Langly, I've always had a job! Always! I never didn't contribute!"

"Well, you can contribute something other than cash, you know!"

"Like what, Langly?"

"Like your time!"

"Langly, I don't get paid, my time isn't worth shit!"

"Maybe not to you, but to us, it matters a lot! Y'know, it's hard, Ally, you're always busy, you've always got stuff to do...and the kiddies need you, y'know!"

"Langly, I've always worked, and Miranda's been fine!"

"And she's getting fucking tired of picking up your slack!"

Uh-oh, Blonde Boy. You just walked into a minefield. You are likely to be a dead man if you're not careful.

"That's what she said to you?" Allison's voice has taken on a cold quality that just doesn't sound right on her. "I mean, she can say it to you, but say it to me? She never says anything to me!"

"That's 'cause you're too busy to listen to her!"

"I am not! I don't think I've ever neglected her! And besides, she's almost 16, for Christ's sake!"

"Yeah, but Patrick's not even four!"

"Langly, we have no idea how the Commonwealth of Virginia will view as adoptive parents...and there are more than a few legal problems surrounding your alleged brother...what you're saying is, I should give up my career plans to care for a child that might be taken right out from under me?" She sounds near tears. "Just like the last two were denied me? Huh? Is that what you want?"

"He needs us now!"

"Yeah, but I don't see you offering to give up your job or your privileges to care for him!"

"Ally, I hate to point this out, but I make more money than you!"

"You didn't always."

"That was then. This is now."

Another Langly marital minefield. The money. He may MAKE more, but she HAS more. I hope she takes the high road and doesn't bash him over the head with it.

"You don't think I'm capable of this, do you?" She's firing off some verbal rounds now. It's not pretty. That soft, mildly seductive voice can turn ugly when she's strained. "I'd like to point out that I've done it ever since I had Miranda!"

"Being capable's got nothing to do with it! And you got two kids now, not one!"

"What, you don't think I'm smart enough to switch careers, do you?" Another round gets fired off.

Stay on the subject, Allison.

"Hey, Ally, I know you're smart, why do you think you gotta keep proving it, huh?"

"'Cause that's how I was raised! You don't rest on your past achievements, and I've got damn few of them to rest on, dude!"

"You're wrong." He's passionate there. She better listen up. "You are so fucking wrong, Ally, it's not even funny."

"Yeah? Point one out!"

This woman is a strange combination of monstrous ego and massive insecurity.

Not unlike the rest of us.

"You got a great kid, for one!"

"Yeah, and you just got done telling me what a shit job I was doing with the kids!"

"I didn't say anything like that, you're not listening!"

"I am so!"

"If you were, you'd hear what I said then!"

"I think I heard something to the effect of the kids need you! Like they don't have me or something!"

"Right now, not enough of you! They'd be better if they had more!"

"So what do you want me to do, Langly? Just throw in the towel and say, I'm not good enough, I have to give it all up and quit and not do anything?"

"Hey, Ally, when did you get the warped idea that being with the kids was doing nothing?" He is starting to sound really pissed; I hope she's going to calm down and get rational soon. He's heated, but he's focused.

This has to be a first. My taking his side in an argument. I'm silently coaching them as I sip my J&B.

Trust me, I'm a veteran of marital warfare...and there's nothing uglier.

"What am I supposed to do all day, for Christ's sake? I've never stayed home with kids, not ever!"

"You did last summer!"

"Part of it! And Miranda's gone about 90 percent of the time, anyway!"

"Maybe she'd hang around more if you were here!"

"I doubt it! And what would you know, anyway?"

"Hey, Ally, I learned a lot living with Miranda, and Shelby, and Kelly, and Junior, and you know what? I'm right."

Langly, don't get smug with her...she'll just tune out.

"Look, Ally, I didn't have parents who were around, okay? My sister bailed on me, my brother bailed on me, you know what? It SUCKED!"

"Yeah, well, I'd like to think I did a little better than that!" She's spitting nails now.

"Ally, the whole point is, you do do it better than that, and they need you!"

"And what about you, Langly? I've never known you to do something without coopting some of it for yourself!"

Low blow. But unfortunately, a correct one...I just hope he doesn't tune out to her now.

"Meaning what?"

"Meaning, what do you want out of this for yourself, Langly?" Nails on a chalkboard voice. I need some more J&B.

She silenced him. In spite of the fact that I have often fantasized about someone rendering him speechless, I don't like the way this is going.

"So? You tell me!" She's definitely not letting him off the hook here.

You better answer, Blonde Boy. Or little red-headed girl is going to feed you to the wolves.

I don't dare peek into the living room, but I can picture them, facing each other, not moving towards each other, staring the other one down, two sets of icy blue eyes not breaking any barriers.

Finally, he breaks the silence. "I want...I want you around more."

"That's nice, Langly. What do you want me around more for, anyway?"

"Well, for one thing, we can never find anything in this place!"

"It would help if YOU did your part!"

"I'm a lousy housekeeper!"

"No fucking excuse! I pick up after you enough, and if you don't like the way things look, get a goddamn maid!"

"We could do that, you know." Calmest thing he's said.

"Yeah, uh-huh. The way they're cracking down on domestic help right now, deporting people right and left...yeah, we've got some great possibilities there, Langly."

"Who says they got to be illegal?"

"They don't, but they usually are! You ever tried to get a housecleaner? A babysitter? A day care? Enroll kids in school? Try to take care of them when they're sick? No, you just leave that all up to me!"

"Yeah, well, maybe if you had more time, you wouldn't feel so put upon!"

"Langly, what I hear you say is, you feel like your life is crazy, and you want ME to keep it in order. Right?"

The lady has a way of distilling issues. She will do well in grad school.

"Well, actually, yeah."

"Don't you think that's a bit presumptive of you? I mean, what's your end of the deal here? Does this mean that I do this, you get to treat me with utter disrespect-"

"Hey, Ally, I have NEVER disrespected you!"

"How about when you moved the offices here without even telling me?"

"I forgot!"

"That is so fucking lame, Langly! I always thought you were more creative at making excuses!"

"I'm not making excuses, I'm trying to fucking talk to you! Tell you what I need! What your kids need! You just don't wanna listen!"

"I am listening, and what I'm hearing is, this is all my fault!"

"Got nothing to do with that! Jesus fuck, Ally, are you hearing me at all!"

"Obviously not!"

"I'm saying, hey, aren't we at least as important as your job? Don't you see? Things are different! They're weird! And we need you to make it not so weird!"

"What makes you think I can do that?"

"Because you can."

"Langly, I hate to say this, but you're acting about as mature as Patrick right now. You want, and you need, and what about what I want and need? I haven't heard anything on that subject!"

"What do you want, then?"

"I want...I want to not feel like I'm utterly incompetent all the time! I'm tired of feeling like I can't do anything right! Because I can't!"

"That's bullshit, Ally. Try again."

"No, Langly, it's like, I can't do the job I was trained for, and I'm tired of it, anyway. I'm trying to build a new career, which, by the way, is no mean trick at midlife, and everything I touch, it turns to shit! I can't have kids anymore! I couldn't even do that right!"

She's starting to cry. I can hear the hard gasps she makes when she's trying to hold it back. She probably will, but whether she knows it or not, the breathing gives her away each and every time.

"You haven't heard a word I said." He sounds disgusted.

"Oh, I think I've heard enough." I can hear tears creeping in.

"No. We're trying to tell you, I'm trying to tell you, you do lots of things good, and just 'cause you don't get paid for them, does that mean they're not important? Huh? That's how you seem to think!"

"Sorry, Langly, we have a very powerful work ethic in my family!"

"Yeah, well, isn't taking care of us work enough?"

"Oh, it's work, all right! You think stuff happens around here by magic, don't you? That laundry gets done and bills get paid and kids get taken care of and dinner gets cooked, you think that's all magic, don't you?"

"No, I don't, that's my point! We got work that needs doing, Ally, we need you to do it."

"Why me? Because I'm female?" back to firing rounds.

Do not go there, Langly. You are a dead man if you do.

"No, I'm just saying, these guys, they need a good mom, you're a good mom, I think you're the best person for the job, and you are, and you're not hearing me!"

"And what about you? Don't you think they need you, too?"

"Hey, I'm trying. You're the one with more experience!"

"Doesn't count for much, Langly...ultimately, child rearing experiences are not replicable...which you probably don't realize!"

"Look, Langly, I am not about to be your slave!"

"I'm not asking you to be!"

"Then what are you asking?"

"For you to consider taking some time off! Is that too much to ask?"

Silence. A long, long silence.

Allison speaks first. "I need a drink."

I'm out of here.

Not a pleasant little exchange, to be sure...but at least they're talking to each other.

For a change.
 

LANGLY:

Jesus fuck, she is impossible!

She has got to be the most stubborn woman on the planet.

I don't think I had much luck getting her to see it my way...they say that honesty is the best policy, but they were never married to a redhead.

And now she's done what she always does when she's stressed out-climbed into a bottle of tequila. Great.

I could stand some liquid relief myself. I head out for the kitchen, hope there's some beers in there.

A few Dos Equis. I can deal with that, as long as nobody else expects me to share. And I sure as hell don't feel like making a beer run.

I love Ally. I love these kids. Why doesn't she see that this would be better for all of us?

Including her. I mean, she is so tired, and so strung out...she needs to get her bearings back. Course, I tell her that, she's gonna tell me to fuck off, like she has in so many words tonight.

What's she so afraid of? So she's never not worked. Lots of people would like the opportunity.

It's like she's afraid everyone's gonna think she's just this lazy Jewish princess...and that's about as false as it gets.

The only princess she is is my princess, and as far as I'm concerned, that's a good thing.

She's probably not gonna talk to me the rest of tonight. Maybe not even the weekend.

Maybe Junior's up for some pool.

I start to head out for the offices, I know Junior's here 'cause his car is, but then I stop...

When I see Ally, sitting and talking to both kids.

She may still be pissed at me.

But maybe I did get her to see some stuff.

She is one stubborn lady.

END OF PART 60