Rating: PG

Summary: It's so fun to watch geeky guys think they're being so scientific about things...and then it gets all screwed up...

WARNING! Frohike mush ahead. For some reason, Martha, I felt like I had to write this one for you...hope you like it.

Spoilers: Nope.
 

MICHAEL:

October 23, 2000

It's sixteen days till election night.

I haven't slept for nearly three days now. It's getting old real fast.

And my dad and me are moving right now.

I'm real happy about the bigger place, and I'm even more happy he didn't kick my sorry ass out, but I hate moving. It sucks totally.

And we don't even have that much stuff. At least I thought we didn't.

Then we went to my dad's storage space, and I nearly keeled over from the amount of crap he's got stowed in there.

I wish he'd warned me about this.

I don't know why he keeps all this shit. What the fuck do we need an 8086 Onyx for anyway?

I asked him if we could throw it out, and I thought the old man was going to strangle me.

I haven't asked again. About anything.

I needed a bed. I got lucky. Ally's got this old waterbed she and her first husband had. She didn't want to put it up again after he died.

I could understand that. If I was Langly, I'd be real weirded out sleeping in some other dude's bed.

And the thing's huge. The side rails are sort of chewed up because of all her dogs and cats, but it's a nice sturdy bed and it's got plenty of room for two people.

We were going to ask the landlord if it was okay, but then we decided not to. Apology is better than permission sometimes.

So I go and set it up, and Langly helps me-at least he's not totally useless with a screwdriver. I go to fill up the mattress, which is going to take, by my calculations, at least six hours.

I must really be dead, because I miscalculated almost fatally.

Langly and me decided to go shoot some pool while we filled up the bed, and we'd come back and check it in a couple hours.

Good thing we did, because when we got there, the frame was starting to separate, and the water mattress looked like something out of "The Blob." It was about three feet over the side rails.

I thought I calculated the pressure versus the amount that had to go in the bed, but I guess I screwed up.

Either that, or Langly jacked up the water just to be a bastard.

I could have killed him when he started cracking up because it looked like the bed was gonna take over the room. But I got even. I made him start the suction to get it out.

He was just about gagging from the taste, and it was my turn to laugh.

Payback is such a bitch.

Besides, I've had this cold going on a week now, and I can't breathe for shit, anyway.

My dad says to rest up. Like when? I've got classes every day. I've got tutoring three days a week, and the center wants me to do more. Apparently a lot of people are getting decent grades on their tests and they like it. And I'm supposed to do research for TMB and get my homework done in my free time.

I have come to the conclusion that I have no life.

I mean, come on, Dad has a life. Langly's got a life, a decent one. Even Byers has one, although my dad tells me this a new thing.

The only person I know besides me with no life is Kelly Martin. All she does is study, and work in her mom's diner.

I can't stop thinking about her.

She comes to the center every Tuesday and Thursday, and she always asks for me, especially since she aced her midterm.

I wish she liked me for something other than that I can get her A's.

I keep wondering what she tastes like. She doesn't wear perfume, I don't think, but she always smells really clean. Sort of like rain. Or the way fresh snow smells.

Her smell drives me wild. I can't even stand up when I'm working with her. I'd probably get arrested for public indecency.

I keep thinking that she's got real soft hair. It looks soft. And it smells real clean. I could get high on just her shampoo. And her skin...well, I think about that, and I start to glaze over. As in sweat.

I keep wondering what she feels like under her clothes. I bet she's got really nice skin. It's lighter than mine, and she's got a few freckles on her nose. They are so cute. I start imagining what it would be like to take off her clothes, piece by piece, and just let my hands roam all over...

And what she'd feel like wrapped around me. I'm imagining how warm and tight she is, and how crazy she'd make me.

She's already making me crazy.

We finally get the waterbed where it ought to be. It's still cold, and it won't be warm until tomorrow night, but I don't care. I throw one of my dad's blankets on top of it and I crash out.

Dreaming of being tucked inside Kelly.
 

October 26, 2000

I almost forget it's my dad's birthday. I don't even know how old he is today. I'll ask Ally. She keeps track of that kind of stuff.

I was going to take the bus right from school to Ally and Langly's house, but then I remember I didn't take my dad's gift. Shit. Now I have to go home, find the gift, wrap the gift, catch another bus, and be at Ally and Langly's by 7:30.

I wanted to do all my tutoring on Tuesday and Thursday, but people were showing up on other days wanting help, and the director asked me to add another day, so I do a couple hours on Wednesday after my Java class. So I don't get to leave campus until at least 6.

Last person I was working with-algebra I, get this!-was having trouble getting it, and I ended up not getting out till 6:15, and that means the next bus doesn't come till 6:30, so it's gonna be about 7:10 when I get home.

Shit. I'm gonna be late. I should call Ally, because she'd be cool about it and hold it till I got there, but I'm late and I don't see a phone and I've gotta get out of here like now.

Wednesdays suck. For one thing, I don't see Kelly.

Time change was Sunday, so now it's dark out early and everything moves slower. It's like it happens every year, why are people so surprised when it does?

And I really feel like shit today. I don't know how long I've had this cold now, but it feels like forever, and I can't breathe and I'm real tired. Ally gave me some Robitussin but it doesn't help all that much.

I can't get sick. I've got no health insurance.

My dad tried to get me on his, through the VA, but I'm too old, even as a full-time student, to qualify as a dependent. 23's the cutoff. And I'm not considered disabled, so I can't do it that way, either. Insanity doesn't count as a disability here.

I can't afford even a 'cheap' HMO. It's like 350 bucks a month, which isn't much less than what I take home each month. Byers did some serious shopping around but couldn't find anything. My dad says he'll pay for it, but we're moving right now and he had to come up with a first and last and security for the new place, so he's kind of short. He says in November, though, he's
buying me health insurance.

Personally, I'd rather have a car, but he's got priorities, and before I felt this crummy, I thought he was nuts.

Now I'm not so sure.

I still need a car, though. With my schedule, taking the bus is getting insane. I need to be able to get around a lot more easily.

And I could ask Kelly out if I had one.

Not that she'd go. I haven't asked her again since that one time. I don't feel like being shot down again.

Once again, only thing standing between me and a car is cash.

I know if I ask Ally, she'll loan it to me. Ally's a soft touch, which has its advantages, but I really feel stupid asking her. It's not because she makes you feel bad. She doesn't. I think it's because she's so fucking nice about it that it makes me feel rotten.

And she'll tell Langly, and I'll never hear the end of it if I'm late or something. He's not as easy about money as she is. Probably because she's always had it and he never has.

But I don't need to give him anything to hold over my head. He doesn't need that kind of power.

I finally get home. I look for my gift, which is hard because everything's packed and the place is even messier than usual-my dad and me are not neat freaks. I finally find it, but now I have to wrap it. Great. I bet we have no wrapping paper, and if we did, I wouldn't know what box it's in.

I'm about to give it to him naked when I see the DC Weekly, which is one of those free local papers that you can read on the bus. And it's got this whole section in back for 900 numbers, masseuses, strippers, things like that.

Wrapping paper.

I wrap the book in paper and and I see some duck tape. Duck tape works with everything, and I wouldn't know where the Scotch tape is, so I use that.

Hey, I tried.
 

I get to Ally and Langly's house at 7:45. It's pretty much like any night we have dinner there. My dad hates his birthday, so we don't celebrate big.

I wonder if he hates his birthday, or he just hates getting old.

They haven't had dinner yet, which is cool. I smell this lime and garlic chicken Ally makes-good choice. Last night we had scampi, for Princess Miranda's birthday, and that was okay, even though I don't like shrimp all that much.

I run from the stop to Ally and Langly's place, which is about two blocks, and I can barely breathe when I get there. It takes me about ten minutes just to stop coughing. I can't even start my beer right away.

My dad comes over to me. I tell him happy birthday, so what does he say to me?

"When are you going to do something about that cough?"

I'm in a real bad mood, I don't care that it's his birthday if he's gonna bag on me.

"In case you forgot, I don't have the money," I snap at him.

"I told you I'd give you some. I have enough for that," he tells me.

"Well, when am I supposed to deal with it? I barely have enough time to sleep and take a shower!"

"Michael, all I'm saying-"

"Look, I'm trying hard as I can, and what do I get? I get nothing but a ton of shit for it all! I'm working my ass off on everything, and you don't cut me any slack!"

"Michael." It's Byers. He's got his hand on my shoulder, and I pull away. I just do that when people touch me. I don't know why. It's not like I think the prof is gay or anything. Obviously not, since he's fucking one of the hottest babes ever to grace the planet.

"What?" I'm just about screaming at him, but then I start coughing again.

"Come on," he tries to steer me out of the kitchen, where everybody's standing around drinking brews. We go to the living room. The Simpsons are on, which is cool. I can't even remember the last time I saw the Simpsons. And me and Langly were doing the bed Sunday night, so we missed the Halloween special.

"I am so fucking tired of him always on my case," I moaned to Byers, which is weird, because I don't usually bitch to the prof. I seem to piss him off a lot, so I kind of stay away.

Why the hell is he sitting here in the same room with me, alone?

"He just worries about you," Byers tells me.

"If he's so worried about me, how come I gotta work my ass off every second of my life just to please him? You tell me that." I'd keep bitching, but I start coughing instead.

"Maybe he doesn't show it the way you think he should. But he really isn't on your case, as you put it."

"You tell me what it is."

"I just did. And it is his birthday, and even though he isn't much for celebrations, you might try cutting him a little slack." Emphasis on the him.

This is really pissing me off. I'm always cutting everybody slack. I'm supposed to be nice because they didn't know any better.

I'm tired of it.

Like when I lived with my mom, which I haven't done for a long time because she kicked me out when I was 16. I got kicked out of high school, so her solution was to throw me out of the house.

All because I changed a few kids' grades and put on my guidance counselor's file that he was a sex offender. That wouldn't be so bad but I hacked into the NJ Dept. of Family Services Database. I think he's still trying to get rid of that.

He deserved it. My mom didn't think so.

And I'm supposed to forgive her because she's had it hard.

She could've made it easier.

She didn't have to hate everybody just because of what happened to my dad. She blames him for everything that went bad in her life.

It really makes me sick because I used to believe her.

And I'm supposed to cut her slack because she had to work real hard. Well, I'm sorry. She thinks she was entitled to life in the burbs the way it was in the 50s. And she didn't get it. She ended up working as a pediatric nurse full time, sometimes more. She probably still is. I wouldn't know. We don't talk.

And I won't talk to her, because she lied to me about my dad real bad. She made me think he didn't want to have anything to do with us. For years.

And my dad did come and find me. I wasn't real happy to see him, but I was in a way.

I wanted him to come for me.

But sometimes I think he just doesn't like me. Like I'm a big disappointment to him.

Hate to tell you Dad, but sometimes you've been a real disappointment to me.
 

Dinner is good, I think. I can't taste anything. I can't even taste my beer. My dad says I should try a sip of J&B-'just a sip, for medicinal purposes.'

Even I have standards. If elephant piss has flavor, I think it's J&B.

Ally fusses over me. She's such a mom.

I really need a mom. So why is it so hard to take when she acts like one? I have no idea.

Everybody's talking and laughing and hassling my dad because he's the birthday boy, and he's having fun.

I want to have fun. This is the first birthday of Dad's I've spent with him since I was in kindergarten.

Ally says he's 56. How'd he ever get to be so old?

My dad opens presents. Ally and Langly give him some 25-year-old Glenfiddich. I'm sorry, but it's still Scotch. But he likes it.

Byers and Juliet give him this cool looking antique clock. He loves old stuff.

Miranda and Shelby give him a Righteous Brothers CD. He likes them? I had no clue. I mean, I know he likes old stuff, I just don't know any of the artists.

He really does like Bulfinch's Mythology. I scored.

I want to enjoy this night. I really do.

I fall asleep on the sofa instead.
 

It's a long time later. Or maybe not. I couldn't tell.

And I only had two beers all night.

My dad's shaking me awake. It takes me a couple minutes to realize I'm at Ally and Langly's house, on their very comfy sofa.

I don't want to move. Somebody put this blanket over me. It's real soft. I pull it around me hard.

Ally says I can take it with me.

We get back to the apartment. I don't remember the drive. I remember my dad trying to get me up the steps.

I don't usually let him touch me, but I'm so beat I just lean up against him, and he's got his arm wrapped around me. He pulls my boots off and covers me up.

I need this. I don't want it, but I need it right now.

It sounds silly, but I want my dad to stay with me right now. I feel so shitty.
 

I wake up. It's still dark outside. But the light's on in the living room.

My throat is killing me and I can't breathe. My head feels like it's underwater, but the water is thick and oily. Everything hurts.

I need something to drink, and maybe some aspirin.

The clock says 2:40 a.m. I have to be up in four hours.

I wonder how long I've been asleep.

My dad's typing at the computer. I think this is when he does his downloads. Or maybe he watched his present from Mulder. I don't know what the title is. He didn't unwrap it at Ally and Langly's.

Doesn't matter. I can't see a thing without my glasses, and I don't have them on.

"Michael?" Dad calls out to me. His voice is real soft.

"Yeah?" I can barely get the stupid syllable out.

He doesn't say anything else, but he actually gets up from his computer and walks into the kitchen, where I am.

And then he just puts his arms around me and hugs me.

And instead of freaking out, I just sort of fall into him.

I feel so shitty.

And I just start to cry.
 

Dad leads me back to bed. He goes and makes me a cup of tea and brings me some aspirin.

I don't even know why I was crying.

He doesn't bag on me, though. He just comes back and gives me the stuff. I sit up and try to get it down. I can barely swallow.

He just sort of rubs his hand on my face.

I think I remember this, but I'm not sure.

After a few minutes, it looks like he's gonna get up again. But I grab him by the hand and make him stay.

He starts to make circles on my back with his two fingers. Now I remember the last time he did this. It was right before he went away. I was six and I had the chicken pox and he just sat with me and made circles on my back so that I could go to sleep.

I felt so shitty, but my dad made it better.

And he can still do it.

I finally fall asleep.

END OF PART 7